“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Your discussion this evening was beneficial and showed a point in progress on both of your parts. Earlier Ruburt would have become alarmed and frightened, felt you were being negative, and discouraged at any verbal and emotional encounter with the feelings that you expressed, precisely because they brought into the open feelings of his. This time however he recognized that earlier he would have brooded and gone to bed, leaving you to brood alone at his ways.

Your own attitude was partially set by your father’s innate and quite strong sense of independence. He hated to work for anyone else. The same applies to Ruburt’s background, mainly with his grandfather. You would have felt freer had you tried to freelance; for freelancing, while it would have produced long range its own problems would have allowed you a greater sense of freedom.

The type (underlined) of commercial art you did as a young man was not the answer, but served many purposes. It gave you prestige and money. It gave you practice, but beyond the point that you pursued it, it could have frozen your abilities. The prestige and money, tied to your mother’s hopes, could have led you into other channels of commercial art that would have led you completely astray as far as fine art is concerned.

To you a part-time job helped compensate. You feared losing status in your family’s eyes by casting yourself completely aside into areas alien to them. You also felt that this would equate you in your mother’s eyes with your father. She, your mother, went with the main stream. Your father did not. You did not want to hurt her feelings particularly in the beginning. Your mother did think of Ruburt as a threat, for she recognized at once that Ruburt would not encourage the tendencies that she herself respected.

Your family to Ruburt was one of society trying to make you toe the mark, hence his often exaggerated reactions. As you know, spontaneously Ruburt would state your position to your family as a symbolic statement to the world at large for those reasons.