“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

You, personally, have been gravely perturbed because of your job for some time. You tried to shove the discontent aside, hoping that you could continue it to practical beneficial ends. You were to some extent outraging a portion of your being, for whatever reasons.

When you begin devoting your time to your painting you will be satisfying then a deep need of your being, and therefore energized. You will feel personally that you are solving problems that you are meant to solve, problems that are nevertheless created challenges having to do with the nature of painting, problems then and challenges that you consider quite worthwhile.

Your discussion this evening was beneficial and showed a point in progress on both of your parts. Earlier Ruburt would have become alarmed and frightened, felt you were being negative, and discouraged at any verbal and emotional encounter with the feelings that you expressed, precisely because they brought into the open feelings of his. This time however he recognized that earlier he would have brooded and gone to bed, leaving you to brood alone at his ways.

A point, if you do not want a break now: Concentration must not be on Ruburt’s symptoms. Underline many times.

I am not saying that he was completely better then, but the improvements far outweighed the symptoms at that time. Do not let that happen again. That was the result of discounting improvements as they did show themselves, and this applies to both of you.

Now. I will tell you something else. You felt that you owed it to your mother to try a secure type of financial arrangement, as far as you were personally able to do so. You realized that a full-time job was out of the question. Remember at least that you did not fall into that trap, and that you both had enough sense to avoid it.

To you a part-time job helped compensate. You feared losing status in your family’s eyes by casting yourself completely aside into areas alien to them. You also felt that this would equate you in your mother’s eyes with your father. She, your mother, went with the main stream. Your father did not. You did not want to hurt her feelings particularly in the beginning. Your mother did think of Ruburt as a threat, for she recognized at once that Ruburt would not encourage the tendencies that she herself respected.

Ruburt did not have, again, those influences working on him that worked on you to prolong the situation. Danger signals only too apparently showed with you as soon as you accepted full-time work. They became unbearable, and you quite the course quickly. The part-time course filled some of those other mentioned subsidiary needs however, so this you found more bearable.

I suggest that you do some sketching. Now. As you progress our sessions can also be freed for other endeavors. As the natural flow of your energies returns to your work, so will greater energy be released in the sessions as well. The part of the sessions in your lives as applied to your Elmira existence so far will be covered at another time. Obviously there is a connection, you see. And now—I bid you a fond good evening.