“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

You, personally, have been gravely perturbed because of your job for some time. You tried to shove the discontent aside, hoping that you could continue it to practical beneficial ends. You were to some extent outraging a portion of your being, for whatever reasons.

Practically speaking, while you had any kind of a job you were ill at ease and off balance. You compared your lot with that of others who had jobs also. There was only a difference in degree.

Here you were influenced, where Ruburt was not, toward a job because of ideas of security that came from your mother, and, despite your conscious evaluations, from the activities of your brothers. Your having a job made sense to you therefore for these reasons, more so than it did to Ruburt, who had no such countering influences. Now give me a moment. (Pause at 10:27.)

Now. I will tell you something else. You felt that you owed it to your mother to try a secure type of financial arrangement, as far as you were personally able to do so. You realized that a full-time job was out of the question. Remember at least that you did not fall into that trap, and that you both had enough sense to avoid it.

To you a part-time job helped compensate. You feared losing status in your family’s eyes by casting yourself completely aside into areas alien to them. You also felt that this would equate you in your mother’s eyes with your father. She, your mother, went with the main stream. Your father did not. You did not want to hurt her feelings particularly in the beginning. Your mother did think of Ruburt as a threat, for she recognized at once that Ruburt would not encourage the tendencies that she herself respected.