“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

It became—relatively now—a displaced discontent. You felt that there was nothing you could do about the situation, that there was no reason to worry about it, but the anxiety was displaced then, draining your energies.

I am not saying that he was completely better then, but the improvements far outweighed the symptoms at that time. Do not let that happen again. That was the result of discounting improvements as they did show themselves, and this applies to both of you.

I want you to anticipate then that uprush of energy you will most certainly feel. The problems that beset you were so aggravating precisely because in a sense they were not your natural set of problems. You always have the energy and the means to meet the deepest needs of your own personality, but not to meet the needs of other kinds of personalities.

The type (underlined) of commercial art you did as a young man was not the answer, but served many purposes. It gave you prestige and money. It gave you practice, but beyond the point that you pursued it, it could have frozen your abilities. The prestige and money, tied to your mother’s hopes, could have led you into other channels of commercial art that would have led you completely astray as far as fine art is concerned.

What you do in that regard is not nearly as important as an understanding of your attitudes. The basic “problem” (in quotes) again therefore has festered, gone underground, in the past. It was obviously one born from your basic creative natures—a challenge rather than a problem, but one that was interwoven with all kinds of social and economic and family connotations.

Finally your way of life became not a symbol of what you were, as it was for a while, but more largely a symbol of what you did not want to be, jointly and together.

I could come through far stronger, but I do not want to frighten the natives.