“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Therefore, at Jane’s suggestion I began to write down what she said. It must be remembered that at the start of this experiment neither of us knew what would develop.)

Many aspects of your joint ideas gravitated toward me. Other areas of living were all molded together so that unity would result. You would have, for example, no desires that would be basically in opposition to the creative one.

Your creative drives became a part of what I am, so that what I am includes the strength of both of your creative drives. I believe that you both must write and paint a reasonable amount of time daily. (Pause.) I was always against any jobs that would divert you as long as you were not in dire need, in which case I was willing to suspend my judgment.

You began to change your ideas. I expected them to be unswerving. When it seemed you would not police the two of you with the intense fervor necessary, I began to do so, and took upon myself all those attitudes that had been yours. It was easy. Ruburt is literal-minded in many ways. He looked up to you. The constant suggestions took root, and I used this for my purposes.

You two more or less made me a promise that Ruburt would begin working sensibly on his book again (after last session), and instead you took a trip. I consider this a betrayal—a small one, but quite indicative of your behaviors.

You said once that you would like to live on a mountaintop, and never go out, and just work and have no distractions. Ruburt was carrying this out in his own way.

You would not quit anyway, so I created a book that would not sell. This did not seem to help. Ruburt became anxious. I released the creativity full force then in the beginning of Adventures and the new (Sumari) development.

I have not compromised. You have. Now I state my purposes and conditions plainly. Seth thought you would find this direct statement even more informative than his indirect description of it.

I am dismayed. I did not think Ruburt would work unless he was chained to his chair, so I chained him, both to do his own work and force you to do yours. Then you both fought me. He did not like working chained, and I tried to make the chains appear as natural as I could. He is not physically harmed to any great degree (one of the questions I wanted discussed tonight, although I never mentioned it to Jane), or maimed. I can say however that for some time I did not care if he was, if these purposes were met. I see now that they would not be, that instead all your time would be spent concentrating upon the condition that was meant as a protection, until no work was done—hence my dismay. I was not appreciated, though I did my best for you.

(I hoped the portion of her consciousness that had contacted us would now let her have her freedom. Certainly her state at the moment was a good sign. Many yawns at 10:40.

(Jane said she was in an altered state of consciousness as she delivered the material, yet was aware of what she said as she said it. “I felt this real sad ‘Okay, I’m going,’ at the end,” she said. It had wound up confused over what to do, but I thought we could help it understand as the days passed. I thought she was achieving, or trying for, an integration of drives that might be very important. I hoped that the motivations behind it would rise to join her ordinary consciousness.