“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Strong moral ideas welded what I am together—welded the creative drives like glue. Part of me was born in Ruburt’s childhood. This part was strengthened by your own ideas of work and creativity. You became the policeman. I relied on you to see that Ruburt’s creativity was channeled and used, protected, but most of all not frittered away.

You began to change your ideas. I expected them to be unswerving. When it seemed you would not police the two of you with the intense fervor necessary, I began to do so, and took upon myself all those attitudes that had been yours. It was easy. Ruburt is literal-minded in many ways. He looked up to you. The constant suggestions took root, and I used this for my purposes.

You two more or less made me a promise that Ruburt would begin working sensibly on his book again (after last session), and instead you took a trip. I consider this a betrayal—a small one, but quite indicative of your behaviors.

My methods have not brought about what I wanted, however. Now you spend half of your time trying to figure them out, and what is wrong with Ruburt—time that you should be working. I do not care if both of you die poor, but I do demand that you live using your abilities.

That purpose unites you, and when you are not tuned to it completely you are unhappy or sick, one or the other. I am protective because I know that this is so. It is the purpose that gives everything else in your lives meaning. Because I am attached to Ruburt now, his ideas of course color many of mine, so his fear of the passing years developed upon your fear of them ten years ago, projected now into your future, as ten years older than he. So to me you have no right to have a job.

I understand you have left, but I expected a full concentration on your work and plans. Unfortunately there were side effects from my methods, that make Ruburt’s condition an impediment to the very plans I want.

I accept no substitutes, and in that respect I am like a jealous God. I am also somewhat like a computer gone amuck, however, if my methods do not meet my ends. I want the main energizing portion of you directed into your work, both of you. Now they have been directed toward Ruburt’s condition. The condition will vanish automatically if these ends are met. They are side effects.

You said once that you would like to live on a mountaintop, and never go out, and just work and have no distractions. Ruburt was carrying this out in his own way.

The more the books were written, the less willing it seemed you were to do what I wanted. The struggle made it difficult even to create for a time. I was caught between using my energies to help Ruburt create, and trying to get money through the creativity for you to quit. This itself hampered the creative drive, hence the dream book difficulty.

You would not quit anyway, so I created a book that would not sell. This did not seem to help. Ruburt became anxious. I released the creativity full force then in the beginning of Adventures and the new (Sumari) development.

I am dismayed. I did not think Ruburt would work unless he was chained to his chair, so I chained him, both to do his own work and force you to do yours. Then you both fought me. He did not like working chained, and I tried to make the chains appear as natural as I could. He is not physically harmed to any great degree (one of the questions I wanted discussed tonight, although I never mentioned it to Jane), or maimed. I can say however that for some time I did not care if he was, if these purposes were met. I see now that they would not be, that instead all your time would be spent concentrating upon the condition that was meant as a protection, until no work was done—hence my dismay. I was not appreciated, though I did my best for you.