“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(We talked briefly after a late supper.While washing up, Jane told me after she was finished, she “got” that she was worse in Key West because she should have stayed here and worked today. We went to Key West with the idea of possibly spending our last week there, but found prices too high for us, at least on such short notice. After the nap, I suggested we might stay here the next week, to work, have a couple of sessions, etc., and Jane agreed.

Strong moral ideas welded what I am together—welded the creative drives like glue. Part of me was born in Ruburt’s childhood. This part was strengthened by your own ideas of work and creativity. You became the policeman. I relied on you to see that Ruburt’s creativity was channeled and used, protected, but most of all not frittered away.

Many aspects of your joint ideas gravitated toward me. Other areas of living were all molded together so that unity would result. You would have, for example, no desires that would be basically in opposition to the creative one.

You began to change your ideas. I expected them to be unswerving. When it seemed you would not police the two of you with the intense fervor necessary, I began to do so, and took upon myself all those attitudes that had been yours. It was easy. Ruburt is literal-minded in many ways. He looked up to you. The constant suggestions took root, and I used this for my purposes.

That purpose unites you, and when you are not tuned to it completely you are unhappy or sick, one or the other. I am protective because I know that this is so. It is the purpose that gives everything else in your lives meaning. Because I am attached to Ruburt now, his ideas of course color many of mine, so his fear of the passing years developed upon your fear of them ten years ago, projected now into your future, as ten years older than he. So to me you have no right to have a job.

I considered the trip a scandal today. The vacation itself an excellent idea if half of it were devoted to work. I go along with the psychic development, as long as it adds to your work and influences it. I am suspicious of it if it prevents you from painting, because of notes, but this does not bother me when you are painting also.

(As we talked at 10:45 it almost returned. Jane said she got, several times, “and all that for nothing,” so I repeated our ideas. I made it a point to reiterate my statements about freedom being absolutely necessary to us in order to create, and that we requested its help and assistance with these limits or goals in mind. “But I’ll be just as happy, “ Jane said, “if it goes away altogether.” The only concern I had in this respect was that it represented creative drives, if in a distorted form. I wanted the drives to remain with us for our use without limitations, so I wasn’t sure if it should be dispensed with completely.