“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Today Jane and I visited Key West, some 50 miles from here. We asked about rates at several motels, etc. After the excellent session on Wednesday, February 16, we hoped for good improvements in Jane. Yesterday there were some. Today on the trip she was noticeably slower, had trouble going down a step. We took a nap upon returning. I arose with several questions that I wanted answered in a session tonight; the trouble with steps, why she took a turn for the worse after the tour for The Seth Material, etc.?

(We talked briefly after a late supper.While washing up, Jane told me after she was finished, she “got” that she was worse in Key West because she should have stayed here and worked today. We went to Key West with the idea of possibly spending our last week there, but found prices too high for us, at least on such short notice. After the nap, I suggested we might stay here the next week, to work, have a couple of sessions, etc., and Jane agreed.

(When Jane came out of the bathroom after washing, she said several times that she was getting this information, that it had a strong charge behind it, and that she “didn’t know what to do.” She repeated this phrase several times. The feelings wanted to explode, she said. She had experienced similar feelings some other times here in the past week, particularly after the last session, and made an effort to discharge them reasonably by talking. I thought that probably the feelings should be allowed to come out violently, but we were inhibited by our surroundings, and probably fear, etc. At any rate it seemed a great help that we had even reached the feelings. I asked Jane, rather impatiently at last if she could discharge the feelings in a session, as we had planned.

(It was a colder, very windy night here. The wind had been blowing strongly—to 30 miles an hour, and even more—for over 24 hours. We had the heater on in the efficiency. We sat in the kitchen. Jane’s voice was average, so this meant that often I had to ask her to repeat a phrase because the various noises almost drowned it out. She said later that she was in an altered state of consciousness. She knew what she was saying and remembered some of it. Her eyes were open most of the time. Her pace didn’t exceed my writing speed, but often it was close to the limits. A mild anger showed itself at times.

(Pause at 9:40.) These themselves led you to concentrate on his condition here. On his own, in other words, he picked up negative habits, apparently as a side effect of my methods.

(Jane broke down in tears now. I held her up in her chair as she cried. I felt like crying too. The portion of her personality that had been speaking sounded hurt and defeated, and in the process of retreat. I am not trying here, now, to judge this portion—herein after called “it” for convenience—or to say that it is going to vanish forever, or release its hold overnight. We will see.

(By 10:25 the tears seemed to be over. Jane felt so limp and relaxed, I told her, that it seemed she had shed two tons of weight. The crippled black cat we’ve made friends with here cried outside our door, so I let him in and fed him. We split a beer. I held the cup to Jane’s lips because she said she was too relaxed to hold it. As I wrote these notes she half lay on her own chair with her head in my lap—a position she hadn’t taken for years. She yawned again and again. She didn’t want to lay on the bed.

(10:55. “I’m not sure I should even think about it,” she said, still yawning, but I think the relaxations reached to about here,” and she touched her legs just above her knees. Previous relaxations, including one yesterday, stopped at her waist. “I can’t understand it,” she said. “I seem to be getting another one after coming out of the first trance... Going back in....” She didn’t, though. I helped her to the john. Afterward she told me her knees felt better than they had in some time.