1 result for (book:tps2 AND heading:"delet session februari 19 1972" AND stemmed:now)
[... 13 paragraphs ...]
I am literal-minded, in that I believe you are meant to be creators, and I have done all in my power to see that you did not swerve. I considered your position dangerous, more so as time passed. My methods however obviously are not working now, so it becomes necessary that I communicate with you.
[... 4 paragraphs ...]
My methods have not brought about what I wanted, however. Now you spend half of your time trying to figure them out, and what is wrong with Ruburt—time that you should be working. I do not care if both of you die poor, but I do demand that you live using your abilities.
That purpose unites you, and when you are not tuned to it completely you are unhappy or sick, one or the other. I am protective because I know that this is so. It is the purpose that gives everything else in your lives meaning. Because I am attached to Ruburt now, his ideas of course color many of mine, so his fear of the passing years developed upon your fear of them ten years ago, projected now into your future, as ten years older than he. So to me you have no right to have a job.
[... 5 paragraphs ...]
I accept no substitutes, and in that respect I am like a jealous God. I am also somewhat like a computer gone amuck, however, if my methods do not meet my ends. I want the main energizing portion of you directed into your work, both of you. Now they have been directed toward Ruburt’s condition. The condition will vanish automatically if these ends are met. They are side effects.
[... 6 paragraphs ...]
To me, my demands are simple. I rage when neither of you work as you should. Show me you do not need a policeman, that if I let go you will not slide away from your goals. I am a taskmaster. That is my role. I am reasonable, however. I am willing now to negotiate. In negotiating with me you negotiate with yourselves. I do not accept compromises. I do accept solid work and firm intent.
I have not compromised. You have. Now I state my purposes and conditions plainly. Seth thought you would find this direct statement even more informative than his indirect description of it.
I need your cooperation now, since the methods that I chose have fallen so poorly. Apparently I must allow you more freedom, but you must use the freedom to do what I want you to do.
[... 2 paragraphs ...]
I am tired. I have done my best. I do need your understanding and cooperation now. I have worked long and hard for you; though it seems that I have been a tyrant, I have always tried to be the servant of your own abilities.
[... 1 paragraph ...]
I am dismayed. I did not think Ruburt would work unless he was chained to his chair, so I chained him, both to do his own work and force you to do yours. Then you both fought me. He did not like working chained, and I tried to make the chains appear as natural as I could. He is not physically harmed to any great degree (one of the questions I wanted discussed tonight, although I never mentioned it to Jane), or maimed. I can say however that for some time I did not care if he was, if these purposes were met. I see now that they would not be, that instead all your time would be spent concentrating upon the condition that was meant as a protection, until no work was done—hence my dismay. I was not appreciated, though I did my best for you.
[... 2 paragraphs ...]
I suppose you will have to be on your own now. I have done all I can (crying) and have….
(Jane broke down in tears now. I held her up in her chair as she cried. I felt like crying too. The portion of her personality that had been speaking sounded hurt and defeated, and in the process of retreat. I am not trying here, now, to judge this portion—herein after called “it” for convenience—or to say that it is going to vanish forever, or release its hold overnight. We will see.
[... 2 paragraphs ...]
(I hoped the portion of her consciousness that had contacted us would now let her have her freedom. Certainly her state at the moment was a good sign. Many yawns at 10:40.
[... 2 paragraphs ...]
(“There must have been a fantastic charge behind it,” Jane said between yawns. “For a while there I was as light as air. Already I’m wondering now as I come out of it: am I okay now, am I free? How are my knees going to be when I try to get up?” etc.
[... 2 paragraphs ...]