“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

I told you some of this was review, but pertinent. He felt that when he had initiated action in the past that it had not worked, and he was then afraid of initiating new action, so he kept waiting for you to do so. This mainly involved the idea of leaving your job, particularly as money accumulated in the bank.

He did not want to admit these feelings to you or himself. He felt also, in the past, that if he told you to leave the job, and it did not work out as you wanted, that you would blame him, as he thought (underlined) you blamed him for the move from Sayre.

The psychic work was quite all right as long as it added to or blended with your own creative endeavors.

All of this contributed to the hampering of body motion. For whatever reasons, he never planned to marry a man who would go away to work each day, but saw you both involved in a jointly-shared comradeship of work and love. You, it seemed later, grabbed hold of a job with great tenacity and would not let it go, and he grew more and more afraid of suggesting that you do so.

Now. It is precisely because Ruburt places such high value on your work and ability that he was so concerned. Had you stopped painting, you see, the dilemma in a way would not have existed. He felt you were denying yourself the one thing you wanted out of life above all others.

The more he valued your work the more concerned he became. He often in the beginning resented the psychic work precisely because it took time from your painting for transcripts. Therefore behind all of this is his high estimation of your abilities and work, and his refusal to see you trapped so that you do not have full time to use them.

So it is not that in Ruburt’s eyes that what you have done is not important. Its importance however in his eyes brings about the responsibility to go further. The steady, unvarying devotion that you have for him is always appreciated, never taken for granted, but he feels he would be denying that devotion of yours if he did not see to it that you had your chance to work.

Now give us a moment. (Pause.) The value of your lives together and separately does not appear to you. Your effect upon others, even before the psychic work, has been literally invaluable to many people. You have been beacons to them. You go quite literally into areas into which many cannot follow. You go for them and for yourselves, this being the nature of creativity.

He feels you also have a role to play in the psychic work that you could not play with a job.