“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Now—let me proceed at my own rate, and in my own manner. Your questions will be answered, but let me go about it in my own way, and not start out necessarily with question A.

(I explained to Jane that I’ve never felt any aspersions against my manhood; that has never been a problem with me. As far as the idea of doing nothing, I explained to her that I thought saving money would enable us to get our own living quarters eventually, and thus solve some long-range problems. As soon as I realized that she was rebelling against a way of life that we had fallen into, probably mainly at my unwitting behest, I tried to make amends by leaving the job, etc. I would say the realization became conscious late last year; I kept the job until we finished checking the script for Seth Speaks, by the end of January.

(Again, I don’t consider that any success of Jane’s would put me in a poor light. I have been for her success, especially since I began to understand my poor reactions to the publication of her first book—jealousy, etc.

(8:47. My hand was tired. At break I did some ranting and raving to some degree. Jane said she didn’t want to continue the session if it made me feel that way, but I answered that I did want the session continued, etc. Resume at 9:00.)

(9:10. Seth spoke thus because of a lot of noise next door. Newcomers were moving into the unit beside us; I heard a child’s voice also, which at once made me angry. Our landlord had told us earlier that people from Canada were coming to stay a week or ten days—in other words, as long as we would probably be here—but he hadn’t mentioned children. I frowned, then Seth spoke. One more problem, I thought, even if only temporary. Jane and I had a good discussion, though. I thought the material excellent. Resume at 9:22.)

(I had noticed of course when Jane began to wear brief garments here, but I assumed she had simply decided to do so, and so I considered it a distinct advance. It completely escaped me that she was hiding feelings about revealing herself. Questioning her before writing these notes, I learned that she had indeed covered up feelings of inadequacy, crying, etc., regarding her appearance as compared with others.)