“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(I explained to Jane that I’ve never felt any aspersions against my manhood; that has never been a problem with me. As far as the idea of doing nothing, I explained to her that I thought saving money would enable us to get our own living quarters eventually, and thus solve some long-range problems. As soon as I realized that she was rebelling against a way of life that we had fallen into, probably mainly at my unwitting behest, I tried to make amends by leaving the job, etc. I would say the realization became conscious late last year; I kept the job until we finished checking the script for Seth Speaks, by the end of January.

(Again, I don’t consider that any success of Jane’s would put me in a poor light. I have been for her success, especially since I began to understand my poor reactions to the publication of her first book—jealousy, etc.

(I agree with all of the above, except that perhaps leadership should be a mutual thing in our case, one’s strengths bolstering the others’ weaker points, etc.)

(8:47. My hand was tired. At break I did some ranting and raving to some degree. Jane said she didn’t want to continue the session if it made me feel that way, but I answered that I did want the session continued, etc. Resume at 9:00.)

(Jane remembers this session better than I do. It took place in January. Anyhow, we didn’t have any such discussion as recommended, etc.)

Because you made the decision to leave does not mean that automatically the negative thought patterns are relieved. When Ruburt had fears about his physical abilities during the trip before the trip, they were not thoroughly discussed, barely mentioned. Together you should have seen that under the circumstances they were “natural extensions” (in quotes) of past habit. Some of them ordinary-enough concerns that anyone would have embarking upon a trip, about money, etc. hardly dire, and easily dealt with if aired; but he was ashamed of them. They were negative and to be hidden.

(I had noticed of course when Jane began to wear brief garments here, but I assumed she had simply decided to do so, and so I considered it a distinct advance. It completely escaped me that she was hiding feelings about revealing herself. Questioning her before writing these notes, I learned that she had indeed covered up feelings of inadequacy, crying, etc., regarding her appearance as compared with others.)