“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

All of this contributed to the hampering of body motion. For whatever reasons, he never planned to marry a man who would go away to work each day, but saw you both involved in a jointly-shared comradeship of work and love. You, it seemed later, grabbed hold of a job with great tenacity and would not let it go, and he grew more and more afraid of suggesting that you do so.

Now. The feelings of pessimism belong to you both, and help in keeping the symptoms in a stirred-up condition. They are a strong part of your problem, and there is a negative feedback that operates in that regard.

The daily habit would reap great results. I have told you both often—Do you want a rest?

All of this should be kept in mind, and I tell you so that you do not concentrate upon the difficulties, and find no merit in your lives. You are both responsible for the psychic development, and without your steady devotion so many, Joseph, would not have been helped. You do not know these people, that have read the books and benefitted.

Now. With each book that Ruburt produced, he felt guiltier that you were still at the job. He was afraid that both of you would become too timid as time went on to make the move that he felt you must make, and that the necessary opportunity would slip through you fingers.

Now. A separate point, returning now to a discussion of fears. Before you left for your trip I told you of some of Ruburt’s negative projections, and advised you both to discuss them. I remember the night well. You had a snack and went to bed, and that was that. And I spoke in stern terms.

You both still lacked the communication of your desires and fears. Simple feelings go unexpressed.

Now there are reasons for all this. I will see that you get them, but in the meantime you both can make an effort to express feelings. (We have already begun, with good results, as I type this the next day.) It will become easier as you go on. (Humorously.) The nonexpression leaves the door open for all kinds of misinterpretations. Some of the difficulty here had to do with the fact that Ruburt uncovered his body in front of others, which to him made him feel vulnerable, pointed up the contrast (with others); he would not let the normal feelings have release. He should have cried quite honestly in front of you, and you should have then tried to reassure him of those positive elements of his appearance.

Earlier however he would not have so bared himself under any circumstances. He purposely put himself in a position where the physical was stressed. This was an advance. It also meant however that you should have both honestly faced the feelings aroused. Instead he tried to hide them.

He has not indeed, except for two periods, and neither have you. The fact, however, that you have left your job gives you a strong advantage and starting point, but you must use it. This means that you must first of all honestly admit your feelings about leaving your job; both of you, both your fears and hopes. Then it means that you do not waste time and energy in apathy, or in crying over the past, but that you see yourself at last beginning upon a course of action that is highly important. And a course, incidentally, that many people are not graced to follow. Your abilities give you added dimensions of mental and spiritual natures that you take for granted.