“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(After I resumed my seat:) The conflict was obvious, then, he had determined to write, to make his living in that manner. He refused to make a pattern of jobs. At my instigation he began the classes, which led him, though slowly, into other areas of financial development.

He felt trapped, then. He withdrew physically, throwing all the more energy, he thought, into this course of trying to produce a book good enough to free you both. When the rewards financially began to pile up and you did not make a move, he began to think it was futile.

In your discussions you came back to: “Yes, but I can’t depend on you to take a job to help out.” Of course you couldn’t. He thought that was understood. He could help you his own way, and that was not his way. His commitment forbade it. He thought your commitment forbid you, too. He felt in the last years that he could sustain you both financially, with your psychic support, if the stimuli were there, and he knew you were doing what you wanted to.

He knew quite well that you would be both casting yourselves adrift financially in conventional terms. He remembered in the past how he felt withdrawing money from the bank. He was quite aware of his own fears also, but he felt that the stimulus would offset these, and that you would not add your courage to his when he was faltering. Unless he did something, he felt, the status quo would continue.

He was also very deeply aware of your part in them, in the sessions, and in your support. To that extent they were their own reward. The secondary benefits, to him now, the financial rewards, lay latent. He felt they should be plowed back in—used for you and your work, and that you were not taking advantage of these secondary rewards, that they lay unused when they should furnish you, now, with the opportunity to do your painting.

He is also intuitively sure that without the stimulus you will never develop your abilities fully. There will be other crutches to fall back on. He knows that this is something you must do, that it is more important even than financial insecurity, that a deep portion of your being will be forever unsatisfied if that course in not followed.

The problems are being brought out into the open where at least you can deal with them in their proper dimension, in the way meant for you to handle them. This does not mean all will be roses. I am not making predictions this evening, but if you go ahead with courage and conviction you will know you are doing the right thing, and you will be creatively and financially rewarded.

There are other endeavors that can be tried, and any of them will pay off financially, and help you and others and free your minds; even though they may take some time from say, your work, they would be united concerns, reflected in your work, not energy directed completely outside of your concerns. I am speaking now of some of the ideas Ruburt listed.