“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

He was ready for you to leave Artistic and take your chances as soon as you had a thousand in the bank. You see his nature.

You did lose communication for some time. He did not know if you were really satisfied with your work or not. If you were, then he did not see why you did not take the chance. If you were not then all the more reason why you should take it, to give yourself the additional time. He felt deeply disloyal to think that you should be doing something you had obviously decided not to do as yet.

It was you who always said you wanted to put all of your energy into your work. You, whom he followed with such enthusiasm. He would waste his body for you and his work, but you would not take that step. He could not understand why. Operating, again, on his part were those doubts: could he really make a go of it if you quit? But he was more than willing to try if given the chance.

He was afraid that you would grow more deeply to resent this, and that you would not rouse yourself in time to do what you must do. In the beginning he was afraid of taking the chance, but not taking the chance became finally unbearable. He was afraid you would not do it. He did not want to be the one to apply the stimulus. He wanted that to come from you.

Because of his love and loyalty he is deeply concerned about your work, and development. He was afraid of casting you into a situation before you were ready, and it seemed to him if you did not initiate the action you were not ready. He is afraid, naturally enough of the change, but the fear of not making it is far greater. He is determined that you have the chance despite any consequences, despite natural fears or anything else.

Now. The fears and doubts connected with such a course have been buried and not faced, so do not be surprised if they become suddenly apparent to you. The consequences of not taking such a course should also be quite apparent to you. You would feel cheated and betrayed by both yourself and others, never knowing what you could have done had you given yourself the chance.

Your society is not going to offer it freely. On the other hand, only those with the determination to seize the chance will take benefit from it in the conditions at the present time.