“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

As a woman he appreciated your concern for security, and part of him was frightened to think of your giving up the income then, but the greater intuitive part felt that you should do so. He would not support you with a job, but he would do so through his books and other endeavors.

He felt trapped, then. He withdrew physically, throwing all the more energy, he thought, into this course of trying to produce a book good enough to free you both. When the rewards financially began to pile up and you did not make a move, he began to think it was futile.

He saw the two of you writing and painting together. Since you have no other close contacts this emotional bond was important. Because he concentrates with such intentness he needs changes of environment physically as counterpoint. He saw himself writing books, then taking a trip to break the routine, returning again and plunging into work.

The money meant little if it did not bring you what you wanted or even provide an environment that was more desirable. He thought: another book, more money in the bank to pay taxes on, you still at your job, no trips, just another book for more money. He felt you were throwing his gift back in his face.

This is apart from the creative endeavor of the books. For these—to do his thing—he drained his body because he thought he had to, and for what reward?

With the dream book he felt, beside the material already given that it was useless. There would be more money in the bank and to him is was blood money, rotten or spoiled like fruit overripe and unused. He felt you were denying your own talent and abilities. You told him to trust himself constantly but you gave him no example, only words, for you did not trust yourself to that degree.

(I didn’t understand whether Jane considered the last five years wasted or not, however, including the books, the psychic work, the painting, etc. I said for my part that the end of January would mark a change in our way of life, and that I didn’t think we’d ever return to the old—it obviously left too many things to be desired in spite of any accomplishments, etc. Resume at 10:40.)

Automatically the living conditions will be far more to his liking. You will automatically have a freedom with time and space. He is banking on the stimuli to bring about greater book sales, greater productivity, further books and sales to help finance the establishment while you encounter your own abilities.