“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Now: Ruburt may sometimes object to the terms used to describe his work. On a surface level the seeming shift from writer to psychic annoyed and bothered him, but it was always the same work, and he knew it. And he was always driven to do whatever must be done in order to produce it.

You had a history of bodily achievement in terms of sports, that led you to take an additional joy in the body that tempered the basic concepts you held. Ruburt did not.

The tendencies to so withdraw and deny the body were early obvious, but unrecognized. In college only the body’s miraculous youth protected it when Ruburt did not eat properly, subsisted mainly on coffee and cigarettes, and went without proper sleep for months at a time.

Ruburt put his body on a strict survival level, giving it the barest of attention. He is in the habit of ignoring its feelings, attitudes or desires, so that he is quite numb to some of them.

Again however understand that both of your attitudes worked here, though he exaggerated some indeed. You both considered the world in many respects as distracting, stupid, its people beneath your notice, and your work the only thing of importance. Given the opportunity (when I obtained steady employment) and as soon as he was able, Ruburt then retreated from it, and gave himself the excuse for doing so—your attitudes made flesh.

Now the body quickly made its protests known, and Ruburt squelched them whenever possible. The body was not important except as it supported his ideas. His will would drive it.

(10:05.) Now. You both said from your earliest days together that you wanted to put all of your energy into your work. That was Ruburt’s objective.

You have also learned then through seeing your attitudes put into flesh. These were joint attitudes, now. I do not mean that Ruburt put your attitudes alone into flesh. He has a one-track mind in that regard, however.

Ruburt believed his place was in his room. Time spent in the preparation of meals, in your social activity, in travel, was wasted time, and his attitude was largely shared by you. He simply put it into greater practice.

The idea that being is its own justification is important here: The rights and privileges of the body cannot be long ignored, though Ruburt’s body has withstood very much. You should be thankful under the circumstances that the condition was not worse, for the body’s own resiliency fought back, and provided some balance out of its own sanity.

When Ruburt felt, as I have told you, that you no longer loved him, then he had less use of the body. He feels his body’s condition should tell you how devoted he has been to his work, instead of getting at it for not walking right or eating enough. He feels you should consider his condition as one of the means adopted in a goal in which you both believe. He was then afraid of giving up the condition for fear of using physical energy at the expense of mental energy, and hence at the expense of his work.