“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

You had the discipline by nature, he thought. He did not: therefore the enforced solitude, the narrowing of other interests until his vitality was forced in one direction, the inner direction. He gave stimulus to his mind with coffee and cigarettes, whipping it to make it go faster and faster.

(I asked Jane why she was allowing this material to come through now, but she didn’t know. I had been getting very angry lately however so I felt this was a prime reason. I was terribly depressed, at least briefly. I grimly promised Jane that there were going to be changes; and this was to not at all minimize my own role in this problem—it was merely my stated vehement desire that this madness come to an end, that I was ready for a change, and demanded one.)

(The strange thing in this is that this session contains new material, after all of the private ones we’ve had. And it deals with causes in a way that makes sense out of all that has gone by; especially does it explain our repeated failures to break out of the vicious circle that has imprisoned us for the last five years.

You have also learned then through seeing your attitudes put into flesh. These were joint attitudes, now. I do not mean that Ruburt put your attitudes alone into flesh. He has a one-track mind in that regard, however.

When Ruburt felt, as I have told you, that you no longer loved him, then he had less use of the body. He feels his body’s condition should tell you how devoted he has been to his work, instead of getting at it for not walking right or eating enough. He feels you should consider his condition as one of the means adopted in a goal in which you both believe. He was then afraid of giving up the condition for fear of using physical energy at the expense of mental energy, and hence at the expense of his work.

Nothing could sway him from that course while he believed it was the right one. When the two of you became more emotionally open, then he began to doubt it.

I will close with one note, however. Under the circumstances the vacation idea, with or without variations, is a good one, during which focus upon the physical aspects of life should be emphasized and encouraged. Do you have any questions?

(Jane translated this Wednesday morning. It’s very interesting to note that even though I wrote the original in Sumari, she is the one who makes it available in English. When I wrote it I had not the slightest idea of its meaning, etc. The same applies to the verses I wrote for her Christmas card.)