“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(“Yes.” At suppertime, Seth spoke to Jane rather harshly as she worked in the kitchen. His data concerned her symptoms, and evidently continued material we had been discussing ourselves the last day or two on our own. I asked that tonight’s session deal only with personal material, so we were fairly well prepared. Jane shed a few tears when she came to the studio to tell me that she had heard from Seth late this afternoon. She also remarked that she wished she hadn’t heard from him. However, I considered the insights she gained to be very valuable indeed.)

Now: Ruburt may sometimes object to the terms used to describe his work. On a surface level the seeming shift from writer to psychic annoyed and bothered him, but it was always the same work, and he knew it. And he was always driven to do whatever must be done in order to produce it.

He is magnificently intent, persistent and determined. When the situation allowed him to do so, he immediately began to pare down all activities not directly connected with his work, to shake them off, to force himself to be disciplined, to cut distractions to a minimum and thus avoid conflict, to his way of thinking.

He often hid from fellow students out of shyness and fear of confronting them. He would hide in his poetry. The tendency then was there. He had no great faith in the body because he saw how his mother’s behaved, without any knowledge of the reasons. The body was not strong, therefore. He did not trust it. He trusted his mind, so the idea of retreating from the body into the mind was quite logical to him when this began. (The sessions or the symptoms?)

(“Well, I hear him do enough complaining about it.” Meaning the symptoms.)

Before, necessity would not allow it. He leaped over that barrier, and when you thought you had given him the opportunity to be free, he was not about to misuse it. He would force himself to devote all his energies in that direction, to silence for example any stray temptations to go out into the yard in working time, to visit friends. He would see to it that he could not give in to such temptations.

He thought that he would have your approval, that you also would do anything necessary in order to put all of your energies into your work. He thought he was showing you he was (underlined) determined to take advantage of the opportunity you gave him.

When your communication system did fall down, the situation was at its worst for him. At an unconscious level he felt he was doing what was right, that you should approve of it, that despite the inconvenience and the physical soreness he was sticking to his guns.

As this began to take more and more of your time however, he became concerned, for he did not intend to have his work at the price of your difficulty with him. He felt guilty enough that you had to work outside. He could justify some small inconveniences on your part, but not your continued unease and worried concern.

When Ruburt felt, as I have told you, that you no longer loved him, then he had less use of the body. He feels his body’s condition should tell you how devoted he has been to his work, instead of getting at it for not walking right or eating enough. He feels you should consider his condition as one of the means adopted in a goal in which you both believe. He was then afraid of giving up the condition for fear of using physical energy at the expense of mental energy, and hence at the expense of his work.

He felt you did not want him in bed anyway, so you would not complain there. He tried then to attain the goal in ways that would not upset you, as far as his understanding went at the time.

Nothing could sway him from that course while he believed it was the right one. When the two of you became more emotionally open, then he began to doubt it.

In the beginning you encouraged him, and found such signs of withdrawal as indications of his maturity. Again, you both in the past found any endeavor disconnected from your work as a distraction. He saw to it that they were cut out and dispensed with in a large degree.

The dancing always did him good, and you also. There were sometimes physical repercussions following it, simply because the muscles were so unused to the activity.