“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

At the same time he gave less and less nourishment to the body, denied it exercise until it began to wither from disuse. He goes inward then with great applied focus, but held the body in such tight reins that he denied it both energy and attention.

For reasons given much earlier, you both worried about the body mechanism in terms of childbirth, and it suited both of your purposes to minimize the possibilities in that direction, and to save yourselves from the monthly fear that a birth might have resulted.

Again however understand that both of your attitudes worked here, though he exaggerated some indeed. You both considered the world in many respects as distracting, stupid, its people beneath your notice, and your work the only thing of importance. Given the opportunity (when I obtained steady employment) and as soon as he was able, Ruburt then retreated from it, and gave himself the excuse for doing so—your attitudes made flesh.

(10:05.) Now. You both said from your earliest days together that you wanted to put all of your energy into your work. That was Ruburt’s objective.

The body often would not allow sleep, since the muscles simply needed to be used. They would jump on their own simply for the exercise, regardless of suggestions that sleep come. You both minimized the importance of physical life to a large degree. Your nature and the circumstances prevented you from falling into a like but similar sort of situation.

When Ruburt felt, as I have told you, that you no longer loved him, then he had less use of the body. He feels his body’s condition should tell you how devoted he has been to his work, instead of getting at it for not walking right or eating enough. He feels you should consider his condition as one of the means adopted in a goal in which you both believe. He was then afraid of giving up the condition for fear of using physical energy at the expense of mental energy, and hence at the expense of his work.

You both always railed against overweight people. He did not think that would bother you then. (But it does, terrifically.) Again, he did not foresee the results. When they became obvious he decided there was nothing to do but put up with them if the end was justified.

In the beginning you encouraged him, and found such signs of withdrawal as indications of his maturity. Again, you both in the past found any endeavor disconnected from your work as a distraction. He saw to it that they were cut out and dispensed with in a large degree.