“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

He is magnificently intent, persistent and determined. When the situation allowed him to do so, he immediately began to pare down all activities not directly connected with his work, to shake them off, to force himself to be disciplined, to cut distractions to a minimum and thus avoid conflict, to his way of thinking.

Before, necessity would not allow it. He leaped over that barrier, and when you thought you had given him the opportunity to be free, he was not about to misuse it. He would force himself to devote all his energies in that direction, to silence for example any stray temptations to go out into the yard in working time, to visit friends. He would see to it that he could not give in to such temptations.

He has been satisfied with the bargain. He felt it was necessary (underlined) to inhibit physical expression in order to concentrate all of his energies inward into his work. He felt it was necessary to inhibit physical mobility in order to facilitate deeper penetration into inner reality.

(9:45. The pace had been good. My hand was tired. I was absolutely appalled by the material. It was an extension of insights we had been discussing lately, but to see it all neatly arrayed together was devastating. I sat in silence for several minutes because I didn’t know what to do; I seemed to be neutralized by the conflicting feelings washing over me. Nor did Jane say anything.)

(I asked Jane why she was allowing this material to come through now, but she didn’t know. I had been getting very angry lately however so I felt this was a prime reason. I was terribly depressed, at least briefly. I grimly promised Jane that there were going to be changes; and this was to not at all minimize my own role in this problem—it was merely my stated vehement desire that this madness come to an end, that I was ready for a change, and demanded one.)

(The strange thing in this is that this session contains new material, after all of the private ones we’ve had. And it deals with causes in a way that makes sense out of all that has gone by; especially does it explain our repeated failures to break out of the vicious circle that has imprisoned us for the last five years.

(10:05.) Now. You both said from your earliest days together that you wanted to put all of your energy into your work. That was Ruburt’s objective.

He thought that he would have your approval, that you also would do anything necessary in order to put all of your energies into your work. He thought he was showing you he was (underlined) determined to take advantage of the opportunity you gave him.

Whenever he had a work problem he hastily then withdrew more physical energy in order to go inward with greater acceleration. The key is, he thought this was necessary. He took literally the idea of putting all of your energy into work.

(I found all of this quite incredible, etc.)

Part of the reaction had to do with past conditioning, and was all interwoven. He was so often told “Do not fritter away your energy,” “Do not go in so many directions at once,” “Restrain yourself,” and so he was making sure that he avoided these pitfalls.

The condition with the teeth simply resulted from keeping a tight upper lip, clamping down the jaw. He made his bed, he would lie in it. To relax meant to let down the guard, and distractions in. The physical strains altered the appearance of the teeth, then. Physically there were infections, enough to maintain the condition and no more. The condition had certain invisible boundaries that were carefully maintained. Only when the body objected and went over those boundaries did he become frightened, for he saw then that he lacked the control over the body he thought he held. He could not silence all of its objections.

(“He’s known for at least a year that I didn’t agree at all—and probably longer than that, Seth.”)

(11:05. I think the session probably the most important that we’ve achieved, though this importance is built upon all those that have gone before, of course.

(I still intend to leave Artistic at the end of January, though some of my ideas have changed. Now I wonder if Jane will take my painting full time as a sign that her course of action was right all along, and simply intensify her withdrawal. Earlier today I told her I didn’t have any more time to wait, because of my physical age, that I no longer wanted to wait, etc. Easy to say. I have no idea whether I can bring it off, but I feel I might as well try. I feel exhausted, and that every other avenue has been explored.