“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(I showed them to Jane after the session and asked her to translate them, as she has done with the Christmas card I made for her, but she hasn’t had time to do so as I begin typing this the next evening. The translation will be added to the end of the session, presumably.)

(“Well, I hear him do enough complaining about it.” Meaning the symptoms.)

(We have been recently planning that I am to leave my job at Artistic at the end of January, and take at least a year to paint, etc., after a month’s trip to Florida in February. This after we have finished with Seth’s book early in January. In a strange way I now felt that I had the freedom to do anything I wanted to, whereas before I had been worrying considerably about the financial effects of my leaving the job. Suddenly I viewed it in other ways.)

(I asked Jane why she was allowing this material to come through now, but she didn’t know. I had been getting very angry lately however so I felt this was a prime reason. I was terribly depressed, at least briefly. I grimly promised Jane that there were going to be changes; and this was to not at all minimize my own role in this problem—it was merely my stated vehement desire that this madness come to an end, that I was ready for a change, and demanded one.)

(Never in my wildest fancies would I ever consider adopting physical ailments in order to avoid doing such a thing as chores.)

You have also learned then through seeing your attitudes put into flesh. These were joint attitudes, now. I do not mean that Ruburt put your attitudes alone into flesh. He has a one-track mind in that regard, however.

As this began to take more and more of your time however, he became concerned, for he did not intend to have his work at the price of your difficulty with him. He felt guilty enough that you had to work outside. He could justify some small inconveniences on your part, but not your continued unease and worried concern.

When Ruburt felt, as I have told you, that you no longer loved him, then he had less use of the body. He feels his body’s condition should tell you how devoted he has been to his work, instead of getting at it for not walking right or eating enough. He feels you should consider his condition as one of the means adopted in a goal in which you both believe. He was then afraid of giving up the condition for fear of using physical energy at the expense of mental energy, and hence at the expense of his work.

You both always railed against overweight people. He did not think that would bother you then. (But it does, terrifically.) Again, he did not foresee the results. When they became obvious he decided there was nothing to do but put up with them if the end was justified.

Now take your break. You may end the session if you prefer.

He never planned on the condition becoming permanent, but only as a conditioning process to be dispensed with when no longer needed. He also wanted you so see how hard he was working, so that you would not resent his being at home. This also showed that he was paying for the privilege. He did not intend that you pay also.

Now you may end the session or take a break.

(“We might as well end it, then.”)

He did not understand that you did not basically agree. Now I will end the session —and I hope that you are glad of the information.

(I still intend to leave Artistic at the end of January, though some of my ideas have changed. Now I wonder if Jane will take my painting full time as a sign that her course of action was right all along, and simply intensify her withdrawal. Earlier today I told her I didn’t have any more time to wait, because of my physical age, that I no longer wanted to wait, etc. Easy to say. I have no idea whether I can bring it off, but I feel I might as well try. I feel exhausted, and that every other avenue has been explored.

(Jane translated this Wednesday morning. It’s very interesting to note that even though I wrote the original in Sumari, she is the one who makes it available in English. When I wrote it I had not the slightest idea of its meaning, etc. The same applies to the verses I wrote for her Christmas card.)