“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

I will make the remarks concerning yesterday first. Ruburt was in poor shape yesterday. You helped him because he was aware of your love and concern. You did (underlined) make that obvious. He knew you were making every effort to provide your end of a merry Christmas, with the tree, etc.

His condition was the result of denying feelings and trying to hold them back again, so as not to upset the apple cart. The feelings were told to shut up. They were not intelligent. They were beneath consideration. They were not approved of, and intellectually Ruburt silenced them, before giving them adequate voice or expression.

Now. What Ruburt said about the beloved monster (Willy, our cat) is true.

This is also of additional benefit to you, as you see that Ruburt responds to you and is not beyond your reach. Do you follow me?

I want Ruburt to discuss those feelings with you also of yesterday. He thinks, simply because he knows them and disapproves of them, that thinking alone removes them.

A day like today is extremely significant to both of you, for it builds up inner confidence, particularly on Ruburt’s part. Even your (underlined) behavior yesterday, while not what it might have been, was supportive enough to keep the situation from getting out of hand, and the memory of your night’s dancing was also supportive, so that you have more supportive elements to cushion various situations.

Your visit to class (Tuesday, December 14) meant much to Ruburt, and to the other students. By your complete absence, you see, you also led them to suspect that you disapproved, for they knew that in your other activities psychically you worked together. It was a symbolic gesture then of importance. You also did not attend until the Sumari development.

You were partially grateful for it, and partially angry, but at yourself. Now that Ruburt is coming to you more fully again, and your neighbor’s compliments and flirtations are no longer needed, you are ready to jump on him, both of you.

Ruburt was glad many times that a man found her attractive when she did not see that answering glimmer in your eye—not that it was entirely your fault, now.

I told you, in the context given, that Ruburt was emotionally deprived, this showing in the physical condition. That you were also to some extent, this showing in your work.

Now Ruburt’s weight is a part of the whole picture. Added to this are certain attitudes of your own, that is attitudes both of you have. Both of you have the same attitude, which means that they are magnified, doing double duty.

These are emotional. You may make intellectual adjustments yourself, but Ruburt has not made them. The emotional attitudes are: weight is bad. Whenever you speak of weight yourself it is with that connotation. People are overweight. The good word does not have the word weight in it. It is slim. It is the word weight, now, that is loaded—forgive my pun.

Whenever the word is used it has a negative connotation to you both. To put on weight is not desirable. Your diet has been geared with that in mind. Granted Ruburt exaggerated where you made adjustments, but both of your emotional attitudes are the same at that level.

There is little fun connected with it. Now you do vary in your attitudes, but only in degree. You will be more adventurous or inventive perhaps at this time, but the strict emotional attitude remains the same. The kitchen is the least important part of your house. These attitudes, then, do not help. To some extent Ruburt is in a quandary, for the idea of gaining weight seems to contradict other deeply-buried feelings.

These feelings have much to do with the conflicts Ruburt feels with your friends Claire and Bob, for they go to the opposite extreme, where life revolves around nourishment. Give us time. You both often criticize those who are overweight, emphasizing in your minds and feelings the lack of control this implies to you, the overindulgence. This brings up those ideas of discipline, of giving into feeling, by implication.

Ruburt considers it in very poor taste (humorously) to ‘oh’ and ‘ah’ over food. Both of you enjoy a sense of moral superiority in the presence of your brothers’ families, that they eat so heartily while you refrain. Both of you now prove that you are not sunken in materialism by being thin. Ruburt simply carries this further than you do, rigidly holding his ground despite all entreaties to the contrary.