“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

His condition was the result of denying feelings and trying to hold them back again, so as not to upset the apple cart. The feelings were told to shut up. They were not intelligent. They were beneath consideration. They were not approved of, and intellectually Ruburt silenced them, before giving them adequate voice or expression.

Now your remark, not verbatim, “Come on, Hon, get with it,” worked to some extent, for it roused his desire to give you a good day, not to spoil it, and his spirits rose to some degree. But you did not encourage him to express the feelings. Both of you dealt with the matter in the old way, to some extent.

In the past a whole series of counterimpressions would have occurred. Your love and concern would not have been so apparent, you would have become dejected as a result of his condition, he would have interpreted that as disapproval and rejection, and a good week’s time might have been spent under the same conditions, so you have improved.

He tries to be gallant. He is also worried because of his own nature that women find him unattractive, because of age, and because of a feeling for the other sex. He wants to feel that he is not so much a homosexual as that he leaves women unaffected. For this reason his comments and manner grow more “out of bounds” as he grows older and becomes more frightened.

The beloved monster lost weight, looked neglected, lost his luster, became listless unless forced into activity, looked older. Now, he was suddenly deprived of his position. The emotional energy usually given him automatically was transferred elsewhere. You saw the sudden change. He also became in his own way obstinate.

Ruburt considers it in very poor taste (humorously) to ‘oh’ and ‘ah’ over food. Both of you enjoy a sense of moral superiority in the presence of your brothers’ families, that they eat so heartily while you refrain. Both of you now prove that you are not sunken in materialism by being thin. Ruburt simply carries this further than you do, rigidly holding his ground despite all entreaties to the contrary.

He did not, in the past now, feel nourished. When your intimate situation improves, so will his eating habits. But oddly enough the reverse also applies—when his eating habits improve so will your intimate lives. Your tempting him to eat, for example, and underline tempting, has strong sexual connotations to which he will respond, both sexually and through eating more.

He does have, as you do, buried sensuous tastes that can be cultivated: his buried far more than yours. Your combined emotional feelings toward food have been exaggerated by him. He thinks you disapprove for example of the very foods you tell him to eat, the sugars and starches. You condemn them except when mentioning them to him.