“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Now your remark, not verbatim, “Come on, Hon, get with it,” worked to some extent, for it roused his desire to give you a good day, not to spoil it, and his spirits rose to some degree. But you did not encourage him to express the feelings. Both of you dealt with the matter in the old way, to some extent.

He told himself he understood what the feelings were, and did not approve of them, but he did not allow them expression at all.

But see what should have been done. You should have encouraged him to release the feelings and the two of you faced them together. They were not that terrible, you see.

You were partially grateful for it, and partially angry, but at yourself. Now that Ruburt is coming to you more fully again, and your neighbor’s compliments and flirtations are no longer needed, you are ready to jump on him, both of you.

These are emotional. You may make intellectual adjustments yourself, but Ruburt has not made them. The emotional attitudes are: weight is bad. Whenever you speak of weight yourself it is with that connotation. People are overweight. The good word does not have the word weight in it. It is slim. It is the word weight, now, that is loaded—forgive my pun.

Whenever the word is used it has a negative connotation to you both. To put on weight is not desirable. Your diet has been geared with that in mind. Granted Ruburt exaggerated where you made adjustments, but both of your emotional attitudes are the same at that level.

There is little fun connected with it. Now you do vary in your attitudes, but only in degree. You will be more adventurous or inventive perhaps at this time, but the strict emotional attitude remains the same. The kitchen is the least important part of your house. These attitudes, then, do not help. To some extent Ruburt is in a quandary, for the idea of gaining weight seems to contradict other deeply-buried feelings.

It will indeed. But other steps should be taken.

The phrase, “giving into your appetites,” is important here. It is one of the reasons for example why he does not like to eat, generally, in front of others. It is a moral principle to him, but also applies privately. It involves not being fleshy in voluptuous terms, a kind of esthetic discipline that morally disapproves of others. The sexual connotations are obvious, and added on. When he did not feel loved he would not eat—the two appetites, you see.

He did not, in the past now, feel nourished. When your intimate situation improves, so will his eating habits. But oddly enough the reverse also applies—when his eating habits improve so will your intimate lives. Your tempting him to eat, for example, and underline tempting, has strong sexual connotations to which he will respond, both sexually and through eating more.

Philosophically and practically there are many ramifications on this subject that I hope to cover, but what I have said for now applies. The word tempt is important, for it implies on you part a willingness to have him taste and share with you both through food and sexual enjoyment. Telling him to eat without understanding your own emotional attitude is useless, for he picks up and exaggerates the Puritan-like feelings toward food. Your preparing food for him now and then as a counterpoint can help.