“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

You always regarded this place as a place of transition. It was thought of in terms of social transition, or your place in society, and transition in terms of your work, particularly here on Ruburt’s side—on his part. Money for example through books would allow you to move.

Work is involved, in that Ruburt always expected you would move as soon as he made any amount of money at all. You have been also highly ambiguous in your own attitudes about your dwelling. He felt you would not do anything about it. He did nothing about it on his own, except finally to rent the other apartment, but he has been holding his breath quite literally, for some time.

The two apartments helped, but in a way there is less privacy because of the public hall, you see. You have used your dwelling place as a symbol then, which is why it becomes important. Otherwise it would not be an issue. Ruburt has strongly held down any tendencies through the years to spend any money, small as it might be, in decorating, buying furniture, simply because of your joint attitudes, the feeling of transition.

The last episode, around the corner (on Grove Street, in a flooded area) did not apply, it was a token gesture. Each of you knew you would not live close to the river. Ruburt is also afraid of changing the status quo, however, as you are. So both of you have resented the other for not making a definite decision to move.

In many ways you are as stubborn as he is—and regardless of what you thought, you complained quite constantly, both about the job, your own work, and your dwelling. But once set upon a course, you would not change it either, and Ruburt would have done anything to see you happy in that (underlined) regard.

He felt finally that at least if you worked full time for yourself that (underlined) complaint would be taken care of. He considered it a practical move in the physical universe, one of the few actual changes that either of you had decided to make in all that time.

Now you are both creatures of habit, wanting feelings of security in which to work. Otherwise you would have moved a long time ago. Because you have no family you do respond with and to your environment strongly, and that response colors your health and your work.

Without understanding however you can simply project all the problems. In your case a move would have such drastic connotations, and be so symbolic, that its beneficial nature is assured. Your not moving symbolically represents your not doing many things—your not facing many issues.

He went like a squirrel, trying to satisfy his love of environment, changing this place about in a fury of frustration, and finally gave it up. Briefly, the new environment next door aroused him, but the apartment, while representing expansion, as I told you then, also carried a built-in boomerang—the public hall, the lack of coordination, a divided place. Of course it had advantages, or you would not, either of you, have considered it.

Both of you then have considered your dwelling place a symbol of not going ahead, of lack of initiative. Had you attempted better to coordinate the establishment, had you bought furniture, this would have made a difference. You never decided, you see, that this would be your home, for any (underlined) amount of time.

(Since I left Artistic last February, in other words. I also would like Seth to elaborate on the top paragraph on this page, about influences in the house. Is he saying that these influences were those indicated by Jane’s pendulum this evening?)

You particularly felt threatened. It would be foolish to the extreme to stay here when you are both consciously and unconsciously waiting for the bridge to be built. You felt your territory threatened as soon as the parking lot was thought of, and earlier when Spaziani first thought of selling the place.

When he decided to add to your establishment, his class did pick up, and has. He wanted to see if you could afford that much more rent, sure that if you realized it you (underlined) would see the light and decide to move. You were waiting for him to make such a decision. You both blamed circumstances, but also each other for the lack of initiative.

It seemed to him that you were always going to leave your job one day and paint, but that day never came and the two of you were going to move one day, but that day never came, so he forced the one issue. In Florida he thought seriously of living there to make a move, but nothing came of it. Your discussion this evening at the table about finances led him deeper into those feelings he tries so hard to avoid. Here he was doing better than ever, with more money in the offing, and to what purpose? Nothing would ever change. He could not keep up financially, much less think of moving, so put it ahead in the future again.

Now. Neither of you were ready to make such a physical change. Financially he could have, as you can now, but you were not willing to face the issues beneath. You would have moved out of resentment, feeling forced to, and not out of understanding.

Ruburt’s own fear, and fear for you, kept the material hidden; as did incidentally, the flood. It was simply an excuse in a way, but on the other hand Ruburt recognized the difficulties during that time. Also you both felt some loyalty to the house, and would not leave it in that condition. Ruburt does not think of money, but he can produce it with great facility—when he wants it for something, so he has been enraged at this useless money, in those terms.

Your mother’s home would not have served your purposes, yours or Ruburt’s. I tell you that so that you realize you did not make a mistake.

Trips (vacations) were meaningless in the context. They had nothing to do with moving. You knew you would return. Not only that but if you spent much money the possibility of moving diminished.