“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

You always regarded this place as a place of transition. It was thought of in terms of social transition, or your place in society, and transition in terms of your work, particularly here on Ruburt’s side—on his part. Money for example through books would allow you to move.

(This was a real reaction from Seth. I felt the force of his momentary anger, I felt personally involved. I also thought that this might stem from Jane’s expressed feelings of anger and resentment before the session, and her demands that Seth help. Perhaps this method had its merits?)

Work is involved, in that Ruburt always expected you would move as soon as he made any amount of money at all. You have been also highly ambiguous in your own attitudes about your dwelling. He felt you would not do anything about it. He did nothing about it on his own, except finally to rent the other apartment, but he has been holding his breath quite literally, for some time.

Ruburt is hardly able to do housework. He does not want to do it. It is his resentment against this apartment (5). This room (the living room) is the only one he regularly enters.

He went like a squirrel, trying to satisfy his love of environment, changing this place about in a fury of frustration, and finally gave it up. Briefly, the new environment next door aroused him, but the apartment, while representing expansion, as I told you then, also carried a built-in boomerang—the public hall, the lack of coordination, a divided place. Of course it had advantages, or you would not, either of you, have considered it.

Leonard made a home here, and Ruburt for all of his disdain with Leonard’s taste, was furious at taking Leonard’s discard. Yet it always seemed impractical to do anything here, since surely you were both going to move.

Up until that time. I am saying that the build-up of influences affected Ruburt more because this was his only environment through those years when you were away part time.

In the beginning he was caught between sheer fury and desperation. His first hardcover was out, and instead of changing the situation for the better he was faced with a job after writing full time.

Your relationship at that time was very poor. I have given you material on it. It was a severe shock to him because of his earlier high dreams—and not to be smiled at. It frightened him.

The Seth Material hardcover did not financially change the situation that much, but his classes began to bring in money. The dream book’s failure was also important financially. The money itself meant little difference to him. Where he lives with you is highly important, and if you remember always has been.

When he decided to add to your establishment, his class did pick up, and has. He wanted to see if you could afford that much more rent, sure that if you realized it you (underlined) would see the light and decide to move. You were waiting for him to make such a decision. You both blamed circumstances, but also each other for the lack of initiative.

Then he becomes angry when you say “Why don’t you make a decision?” He felt you were afraid to, and if he made one and it was wrong, he did not want to take the blame. So he felt in an impossible situation: and quite consciously, when he allowed himself to become aware of his thoughts. He is afraid of hurting you, of making you move, or making you cry.

This evening for example, your after-dinner conversation aroused Ruburt’s own fears, sent him into an emotional state in which he accepted them, used them, exaggerated even his desperation, hoping to force an answer.

It was never enthusiastic, and you never suggested checking on the places listed. When he did so he did it on his own, and you did not seem enthusiastic at all.

You (me) (underlined) have a tendency to think in terms of obstacles. Ruburt allowed this to add to latent (underlined) characteristics of his own. Your joint ideas then prevented you from ever thinking creatively. You never thought that moving could be fun—and that is your reality. No one else created it.