“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(We could only think that something, somewhere, somehow, had escaped our daily notice; yet to pin this down seemed beyond our means. We felt exhausted. I finally went back to the studio to relax a bit. Unknown to me Jane used her pendulum in her workroom. When we sat for the session around 9 PM, Jane said her pendulum told her that the symptoms were caused by the house we lived in, and, specifically, by the original owner. This individual, nameless to us, had built the elaborate shower in apartment five, which is one of the two apartments we have here.

(This was a real reaction from Seth. I felt the force of his momentary anger, I felt personally involved. I also thought that this might stem from Jane’s expressed feelings of anger and resentment before the session, and her demands that Seth help. Perhaps this method had its merits?)

Work is involved, in that Ruburt always expected you would move as soon as he made any amount of money at all. You have been also highly ambiguous in your own attitudes about your dwelling. He felt you would not do anything about it. He did nothing about it on his own, except finally to rent the other apartment, but he has been holding his breath quite literally, for some time.

These tendencies have been almost completely repressed. But, again, they are not unconscious. Ruburt felt disloyal thinking of them because such thoughts seemed to him to criticize your joint life style and purposes.

He felt finally that at least if you worked full time for yourself that (underlined) complaint would be taken care of. He considered it a practical move in the physical universe, one of the few actual changes that either of you had decided to make in all that time.

Now. Many of these characteristics are not particularly negative at all. For example, Ruburt never felt comfortable in the yard when [the] Spazianis and the neighborhood ladies gathered. Neither did you. The bushes at the side however, and the garden area, largely compensated, and the secret quality the corner had.

Your resentment of Spaziani when he sold was projected upon him. It was anger mainly at yourself. You felt forced to stay. Other elements were involved, but the strength of your resentment, its charge, had to do with your own feelings about yourself and this place, as did Ruburt’s with Piper.

Now that you are here the relevance is important, but you do not have the built-up accumulation. At one time Ruburt could walk in the yard, you see, in privacy. He felt shielded. Now you do not understand how both of your attitudes were affected, as the house itself changed and as it changed hands.

You particularly felt threatened. It would be foolish to the extreme to stay here when you are both consciously and unconsciously waiting for the bridge to be built. You felt your territory threatened as soon as the parking lot was thought of, and earlier when Spaziani first thought of selling the place.

Now in this structure everything else is aggravated—the feelings between you and Ruburt mentioned so often for example. You both feel hampered in love-making. He does not feel he can let go. To raise your voice, to express aggression when you feel it, becomes a cautious endeavor. In the past you felt surrounded at least by relative good will... changing tenants alters those feelings, however. You both resented it.

He often reads ads to you, testing your reaction. Only once did you take him up on this, so he felt you did not want to move. He is and has been terrified of making decisions where you are involved, because he feels you so resented your mother’s treatment of your father.

Then he becomes angry when you say “Why don’t you make a decision?” He felt you were afraid to, and if he made one and it was wrong, he did not want to take the blame. So he felt in an impossible situation: and quite consciously, when he allowed himself to become aware of his thoughts. He is afraid of hurting you, of making you move, or making you cry.

Ruburt’s own fear, and fear for you, kept the material hidden; as did incidentally, the flood. It was simply an excuse in a way, but on the other hand Ruburt recognized the difficulties during that time. Also you both felt some loyalty to the house, and would not leave it in that condition. Ruburt does not think of money, but he can produce it with great facility—when he wants it for something, so he has been enraged at this useless money, in those terms.

Now money for security he does want, but this he sees after the necessities are taken care of: a suitable environment. If he is not happy today, money in the bank is meaningless to him. He also felt that a house might interfere with your ideas of work—the added responsibility, and he kept that in mind.