“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(After supper this evening both Jane and I did a lot of griping and complaining about her symptoms, and our inability to solve the problems involved. We were very disappointed that all of our recent efforts, in line with Seth’s suggestions, hadn’t resulted in any improvement.

(Jane was so wrought up that at first she thought a session might not develop. Both of us were angry. “Boy, Seth, you better come up with some answers,” she said. Much more talk followed; we speculated about ramifications stemming from the idea that the house was involved. Seth finally interrupted us.)

Any thoughts of moving were always put off, until a tomorrow that has not come. Beyond the early years he did little improving. He is highly sensitive to environment, and needs—(suddenly louder:) and do not frown, and keep writing. I am angry at both of you this evening. More at Ruburt, but I cannot yell at him—

Now there were unfortunate aspects to which you both did react, but in the beginning there were compensating factors in the beauty of the environment, the whole view. I did encourage you to move at one time.

In the past many of you here were of the same age group. Now with younger people about the thoughts are stronger that this is a place of transition. The fact that you have not moved does reflect a lack of initiative on both of your parts.

The last episode, around the corner (on Grove Street, in a flooded area) did not apply, it was a token gesture. Each of you knew you would not live close to the river. Ruburt is also afraid of changing the status quo, however, as you are. So both of you have resented the other for not making a definite decision to move.

In many ways you are as stubborn as he is—and regardless of what you thought, you complained quite constantly, both about the job, your own work, and your dwelling. But once set upon a course, you would not change it either, and Ruburt would have done anything to see you happy in that (underlined) regard.

Now you are both creatures of habit, wanting feelings of security in which to work. Otherwise you would have moved a long time ago. Because you have no family you do respond with and to your environment strongly, and that response colors your health and your work.

In your present dwelling there are many obvious issues. The two tiny kitchens show clearly that the nourishment of food has been given the last spot, in both of your lives. Ruburt simply carried it to the extreme, but the inclination is obvious in your dwelling.

He is afraid to move (underlined three times)—but he will also be excited. You are also afraid to move, and both of you are wary of fitting yourselves into a new environment, and in a small but significant way, of making a new personal world.

Both of you then have considered your dwelling place a symbol of not going ahead, of lack of initiative. Had you attempted better to coordinate the establishment, had you bought furniture, this would have made a difference. You never decided, you see, that this would be your home, for any (underlined) amount of time.

Leonard made a home here, and Ruburt for all of his disdain with Leonard’s taste, was furious at taking Leonard’s discard. Yet it always seemed impractical to do anything here, since surely you were both going to move.

There were a series of seemingly innocuous desires, but forever put off, it seemed. Now with people who have many other sources of amusement, occupation, family gatherings and social episodes, such things do not have such meaning. Most of your contacts are professional; you both work at home. The environment therefore becomes highly important, as the living medium in which you work. This is one reason why you were not as affected as Ruburt, because you were away from the environment part of the day. Do you follow me?

Now that you are here the relevance is important, but you do not have the built-up accumulation. At one time Ruburt could walk in the yard, you see, in privacy. He felt shielded. Now you do not understand how both of your attitudes were affected, as the house itself changed and as it changed hands.

You particularly felt threatened. It would be foolish to the extreme to stay here when you are both consciously and unconsciously waiting for the bridge to be built. You felt your territory threatened as soon as the parking lot was thought of, and earlier when Spaziani first thought of selling the place.

Some of the small, seemingly silly issues forever put off: a private backyard, shielding trees outside, a front and back door of your own, for Ruburt a dog, both of you a unit of your own; that is, a house over which you had control.

You have private rooms now in a public area that becomes more public all the time, as tenants, strangers, move in and out. For a while the whole house had feelings of privacy when the same tenants, for example Lucy, were here for some time. With a change in tenants the halls for example become anonymous, all of these feelings strongly operate, and on both of your parts. Ruburt reacts physically, he waits physically. You do not feel safe to work.

Now in this structure everything else is aggravated—the feelings between you and Ruburt mentioned so often for example. You both feel hampered in love-making. He does not feel he can let go. To raise your voice, to express aggression when you feel it, becomes a cautious endeavor. In the past you felt surrounded at least by relative good will... changing tenants alters those feelings, however. You both resented it.

When he decided to add to your establishment, his class did pick up, and has. He wanted to see if you could afford that much more rent, sure that if you realized it you (underlined) would see the light and decide to move. You were waiting for him to make such a decision. You both blamed circumstances, but also each other for the lack of initiative.

Ruburt’s own fear, and fear for you, kept the material hidden; as did incidentally, the flood. It was simply an excuse in a way, but on the other hand Ruburt recognized the difficulties during that time. Also you both felt some loyalty to the house, and would not leave it in that condition. Ruburt does not think of money, but he can produce it with great facility—when he wants it for something, so he has been enraged at this useless money, in those terms.

There has been deep resentment here, and on both of your parts, having to do with decision making, and misunderstandings. Now you may take a break or end the session as you prefer.

You did not feel until recently that you were moving ahead in your work. The two ideas combined. The act of moving means leaving and beginning. While you were at Artistic you both used that as an excuse. All of your attitudes will come into focus as you decide to move, and when you move. That is, I think, enough for you both this evening, so I bid you a fond good night.

And do not be overly harsh on yourselves, as you both have an unfortunate tendency to do so.