“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Work is involved, in that Ruburt always expected you would move as soon as he made any amount of money at all. You have been also highly ambiguous in your own attitudes about your dwelling. He felt you would not do anything about it. He did nothing about it on his own, except finally to rent the other apartment, but he has been holding his breath quite literally, for some time.

In many ways you are as stubborn as he is—and regardless of what you thought, you complained quite constantly, both about the job, your own work, and your dwelling. But once set upon a course, you would not change it either, and Ruburt would have done anything to see you happy in that (underlined) regard.

Each person responds far more to the environment, that they also create, than is realized. The reason why moving often helps, and sometimes does not, is fairly obvious. A good move physically represents an inner change that then seeks a new environment in which it is materialized.

Your resentment of Spaziani when he sold was projected upon him. It was anger mainly at yourself. You felt forced to stay. Other elements were involved, but the strength of your resentment, its charge, had to do with your own feelings about yourself and this place, as did Ruburt’s with Piper.

Some of the small, seemingly silly issues forever put off: a private backyard, shielding trees outside, a front and back door of your own, for Ruburt a dog, both of you a unit of your own; that is, a house over which you had control.

Ruburt’s own fear, and fear for you, kept the material hidden; as did incidentally, the flood. It was simply an excuse in a way, but on the other hand Ruburt recognized the difficulties during that time. Also you both felt some loyalty to the house, and would not leave it in that condition. Ruburt does not think of money, but he can produce it with great facility—when he wants it for something, so he has been enraged at this useless money, in those terms.

This evening for example, your after-dinner conversation aroused Ruburt’s own fears, sent him into an emotional state in which he accepted them, used them, exaggerated even his desperation, hoping to force an answer.

It was never enthusiastic, and you never suggested checking on the places listed. When he did so he did it on his own, and you did not seem enthusiastic at all.

You (me) (underlined) have a tendency to think in terms of obstacles. Ruburt allowed this to add to latent (underlined) characteristics of his own. Your joint ideas then prevented you from ever thinking creatively. You never thought that moving could be fun—and that is your reality. No one else created it.