“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Today we returned from a weekend visit with my brother Dick in Rochester, New York. My mother, who now lives with Dick and his wife and family, made the trip back with Jane and me as far as the parking lot at Enfield Glen, Ithaca, where we met my other brother, Loren. Mother was transferred to Loren’s car during an interlude in a driving rainstorm. She is to spend a couple of weeks with Loren and his wife Betts before returning to Rochester.

(While we were in Rochester I mentioned a question to Jane that I thought Seth ought to consider. According to the chronology of events that Jane made up from her old notebooks last year, the symptoms began before the psychic manifestation of her abilities. At the time this knowledge was a surprise to us, since we’d fallen into the habit of thinking the symptoms were an outgrowth of the psychic abilities.

(Once again we sat for the session before 9 PM, and once again it was slow in coming about. Even though Jane told me she felt Seth around at 9 PM. At 9:20, she told me about the “shuddering” feeling she’d experienced in her chest in Rochester, after I had first mentioned the above question to her. Jane said that when I brought up the question again tonight she felt the shuddering return, although it was located farther down her torso, in the stomach area, this time. At 9:25, though, just before the session began, she said the feeling was better.)

His idea of trying to help others was a good one. This involved physical motion in Rochester. He will tell you. I will have something to say regarding the affair you mentioned, but give us a few moments on that.

Now the affair with Venice’s friend involved the false prophet idea again. It seemed to Ruburt, with his understanding, that if his information was coming from a paranormal source, and that source was good, then it must also prove itself to be infallible, or he was a false prophet. He also felt accused by you, believing that if he was using his abilities really fully, as you wanted him to, then there would have been a way provided so the woman would not die.

He felt that the burden rested upon him, which of course was hardly the case. He also felt that Venice needed the proof of that woman’s complete recovery, and felt that perhaps his own doubts or fears prevented delivery of the particular information that might make the woman decide to live.

The whole class knew of the session. He was disappointed in me, also, thinking that I should have been able to save the woman. At the same time he resented being put in the position to begin with. His mother had attempted suicide several times. On a deeply unconscious level he worried that perhaps symbolically he did not want to save the woman—who was, incidentally a mother. He felt responsible for his own mother’s suicide attempts, to some degree, and this added to the situation.

At the same time he was feeling that he would not be a great writer either, you were telling him he was using only about a tenth of his abilities, and so in both areas he was not living up to his expectations or yours, to his way of seeing. There are other old tie-ins here, in that he was always considered very good or very bad, in that people always liked him instantly or disliked him instantly. You could not ignore him. But the contrasts were always stressed in early life, so that if you were not the one you were the other.

He was giving a good deal of time to our sessions. The woman’s session, to him, was to some degree a test of the material’s practical worth to someone in deep trouble. The woman’s death obviously meant that it did not pass. Again, he forgot the integrity of the personality. It must make its own choices, and may accept or refuse help given. The woman did not want the session, and had made a decision she did not intend to change. Venice’s will or anyone else’s could not stand against that.

In the picture of reality he has been accepting, for the reasons given in past sessions, he did not believe he could move capably. As matters progressed he did not believe it was possible for him to perform physically in a normal manner. You must act in accordance with your idea of reality. You cannot do something unreal.

Some important blockages would therefore come when he tried to tell himself he could do something, such as walk downstairs correctly, when at the same time he did not believe it possible. This was in my suggestions I emphasized the ends rather than the means. It is also why I want the session read so often, assuring him as it does that even in his present physical condition alone he can perform with much better flexibility—

(While taking a drive to the drugstore on Sunday, my brother Dick told me he felt he “didn’t have much” as far as money was concerned. He was quite incensed over published reports that 10% of the population in this country controls something like 58% of the wealth, etc. He talked about owning more land, farms, etc., and that what he has, with his wife, represents a compromise as far as acreage, the house, commuting distance, etc., is concerned. To Jane and me, he is very well off indeed.)