“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Today we returned from a weekend visit with my brother Dick in Rochester, New York. My mother, who now lives with Dick and his wife and family, made the trip back with Jane and me as far as the parking lot at Enfield Glen, Ithaca, where we met my other brother, Loren. Mother was transferred to Loren’s car during an interlude in a driving rainstorm. She is to spend a couple of weeks with Loren and his wife Betts before returning to Rochester.

He felt that the burden rested upon him, which of course was hardly the case. He also felt that Venice needed the proof of that woman’s complete recovery, and felt that perhaps his own doubts or fears prevented delivery of the particular information that might make the woman decide to live.

He felt he let you down also, you see. He had hoped to be a great psychic, in his terms, about then. But a great psychic, you see, should have been able to raise the dead and save the living. He completely forgot that personalities have their own choices to make. He had also been reading about the great percentage of successes with faith healers, for example, and he considered this a personal failure of an important magnitude.

At the same time he was feeling that he would not be a great writer either, you were telling him he was using only about a tenth of his abilities, and so in both areas he was not living up to his expectations or yours, to his way of seeing. There are other old tie-ins here, in that he was always considered very good or very bad, in that people always liked him instantly or disliked him instantly. You could not ignore him. But the contrasts were always stressed in early life, so that if you were not the one you were the other.