“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Ruburt is motivated quite simply and powerfully by his love for you and his work. Since he has known you these have been the two main directions out of which his being flows. Take into consideration the information given in our last session.

Now. When Ruburt had outside jobs he used encounters with others to take up the slack that existed between his emotional nature and your own. When he worked at home the differences in your temperaments became more noticeable. He was also extremely concerned that he learn to discipline himself—now that he had an entire day, and to prove to you his appreciation of the fact that you were still working out.

Both of you were sure of your love, but each of you at various times were quite willing to let its personal aspects take second place, and I am not speaking alone of physical love-making. When Ruburt took this place (Apartment 4) he was about ready to say, “All right, we will be work partners.” Then you responded with the display of love and devotion, plus a definite program, embarked upon together.

For reasons already given, both of you later fell down. Sumari, and even Oversoul Seven, sprang into being as a result of the emotional rapport that existed between you just prior. When Seven was finished Dialogues began, and our book was in process. Ruburt was encouraged to express his feeling, and emotionally. This gave him some freedom.

Ruburt felt that you did not trust his relationship with Tam as far as the spontaneous handling of business was concerned, and that perhaps the dissatisfaction you expressed about Prentice had to do with a certain emotional sloppiness, where both he and Tam did not have the proper regard for detail, and lacked a kind of integrity that you valued.

Eleanor (Friede) represented a different kind of framework, in which business was business, while art was respected, and where after all matters of great money might be involved. Ruburt was rather proud of handling his own business affairs. Eleanor also represented on another level the establishment, the rich, literary, “in” crowd, and the great youthful specialized ideas of literary success.

Yet these people were coming to Ruburt because of his psychic work, and his psychically inspired writing. Eleanor, he discovered, was anything but his idealized concept of a literary editor. This was a shock. From the time Eleanor came she spoke with the words of Ruburt’s past, glowingly presenting the possibility of purely literary success, prestige, and cash.

A cruel trick, Ruburt felt, offering promises unfulfilled. Yet at the same time Ruburt was able to catch an inner glimpse of that world, its emptiness and the obvious existence of important dilemmas, ignorance, and that finally—it was simply another field of human endeavor.

The Seagull, while free, was not all that free. It is no coincidence that Tam is younger than Ruburt, for this to some extent helped water down the idea of Prentice as an authority figure. Eleanor, older and a woman, giving definite instructions, did represent an authority figure, both in literary terms and business-wise.

Ruburt saw Seagull, or Richard, as a child who followed Eleanor’s advice, and in watching Richard’s career, was able to see more clearly what that kind of career meant.

Dialogues represented a synthesis of literary and psychic endeavor. It also allowed Ruburt necessary emotional expression. Tim Foote represented literary recognition, yet he wrote to Ruburt to ask his psychic opinion on another psychic writer.

Seven represented the same kind of synthesis, and these were both Jane-type productions. After these Ruburt could not make up his mind. If you did not really approve of Prentice as a publisher, then he wondered seriously whether he should follow through with a new house, and with the hopes that Eleanor offered. You typed my book, and I appreciate the work and the reasons, but Ruburt felt it was also because you did not trust Prentice, and always that you thought another publisher would do a better job overall.

Both of you at times do. In your particular personal relationship Ruburt began to feel that when you looked at him you were comparing him precisely with “that perfect physical self” that seemingly so eluded him, and in the face of that image, any improvement at all began to seem so insignificant as to be meaningless.

Your own reactions since our last session are excellent. Ruburt felt, finally, that you saw him at his worst in the morning, and did not turn away from his as some crooked, broken, grotesque physical person. That was what he was afraid of in the light of your perfectionist tendencies. In a strange way he was relieved; seeing what he has been trying to hide, he feels, will give the both of you a basis from which you can operate, in which any improvements are appreciated.

“I can walk normally.” Now that kind of a suggestion, automatically with Ruburt, brings up inner responses, arguments and contradictions with experience on a physical level. “I can walk easier,” does not.

Now: This is not as rambling as it may seem. I take it for granted that you understand the jumps in time. This was merely to remind you of certain continuities without going over events already mentioned—so going back to the point in time mentioned earlier in tonight’s session: when Dialogues was finished Ruburt tried it out on Prentice, and felt briefly that Tam might take it. Even then there was talk from a time earlier about a paperback deal. This had excited Ruburt, as had the Dialogues possibility. Both fell through.

Eleanor, who professed such greater literary understanding and appreciation for Dialogues, in her turn refused it as well, and also Rich Bed. Ruburt never thought Tam had any great understanding of poetry; but what good did Eleanor’s “superior” appreciation do if the book was refused after such compliments?

After Eleanor’s refusal Ruburt was left with Rich Bed. Now this is his projection, and one he only realized at break: he felt that any incomplete manuscripts were indications of a waste of time, and that you thought he should publish everything he wrote, and that an unpublished manuscript was a blot of sorts. You often mentioned Dreams for example, when he was only too willing to forget it. So he felt guilty about Rich Bed even though it wasn’t finished.

Later now, in the last period of time, when Eleanor heard that Ruburt had sent the outline of a new book, Aspects, to Tam, she astounded Ruburt by remarks of great regret, and implications that Ruburt had made an error. Ruburt was quite surprised, since Eleanor had not suggested before that a manuscript not be sent to Prentice.

Immediately the plans for the last trip here were made. In the meantime Ruburt heard of the Bantam deal, and Eleanor was saying “Hold off,” without giving the reasons. Ruburt was frightened. Supposing he got Prentice to hold off and Eleanor’s deal fell through? Physically he had never really forced a body image through athletics, for example. Feelings of any powerlessness, then, found easiest expression physically. He had felt relatively in control, business-wise, used to dealing directly, and this is one of the reason why he and Tam work together intuitively and business-wise so well.

Ruburt began to feel powerless momentarily in the business area. At the same time the hiding-from-you issues that had developed, and are given tonight, had come into full force. Ruburt, as you know, does not like to say no, particularly to people like Dick, a friend. He knew however intuitively that he did not want to change alliance. He has simply hoped Eleanor would take what Prentice did not want.

Ruburt took the responsibility for his consciousness in other areas far more than most people do. He had no strong background structure in which to build up a confidence in the body mechanisms. The youthful body was able to maintain an equilibrium.

Ruburt felt his consciousness more powerfully in almost any other area. It has been difficult for him to accept the fact that the mind literally controls the body. He now sees that he must exert his abilities in that direction, and your own understanding of the issue in that area will be of help to him.

Now that is the end of the session for tonight. Your own actions, plus the new insight Ruburt is gaining, will serve as your start. I bid you a fond good evening.