“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Both of you at times do. In your particular personal relationship Ruburt began to feel that when you looked at him you were comparing him precisely with “that perfect physical self” that seemingly so eluded him, and in the face of that image, any improvement at all began to seem so insignificant as to be meaningless.

As he discovered today when he looked into a mirror, he was comparing his image now to what it had been several years ago literally—not only in terms of symptoms, you see. In an odd way he also thought, because of that, that you were constantly comparing him now with a 5-or-10-year earlier self.

Immediately the plans for the last trip here were made. In the meantime Ruburt heard of the Bantam deal, and Eleanor was saying “Hold off,” without giving the reasons. Ruburt was frightened. Supposing he got Prentice to hold off and Eleanor’s deal fell through? Physically he had never really forced a body image through athletics, for example. Feelings of any powerlessness, then, found easiest expression physically. He had felt relatively in control, business-wise, used to dealing directly, and this is one of the reason why he and Tam work together intuitively and business-wise so well.