“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Both of you were sure of your love, but each of you at various times were quite willing to let its personal aspects take second place, and I am not speaking alone of physical love-making. When Ruburt took this place (Apartment 4) he was about ready to say, “All right, we will be work partners.” Then you responded with the display of love and devotion, plus a definite program, embarked upon together.

For reasons already given, both of you later fell down. Sumari, and even Oversoul Seven, sprang into being as a result of the emotional rapport that existed between you just prior. When Seven was finished Dialogues began, and our book was in process. Ruburt was encouraged to express his feeling, and emotionally. This gave him some freedom.

Ruburt felt that you did not trust his relationship with Tam as far as the spontaneous handling of business was concerned, and that perhaps the dissatisfaction you expressed about Prentice had to do with a certain emotional sloppiness, where both he and Tam did not have the proper regard for detail, and lacked a kind of integrity that you valued.

The Seagull, while free, was not all that free. It is no coincidence that Tam is younger than Ruburt, for this to some extent helped water down the idea of Prentice as an authority figure. Eleanor, older and a woman, giving definite instructions, did represent an authority figure, both in literary terms and business-wise.

Seven represented the same kind of synthesis, and these were both Jane-type productions. After these Ruburt could not make up his mind. If you did not really approve of Prentice as a publisher, then he wondered seriously whether he should follow through with a new house, and with the hopes that Eleanor offered. You typed my book, and I appreciate the work and the reasons, but Ruburt felt it was also because you did not trust Prentice, and always that you thought another publisher would do a better job overall.

Both of you have strong perfectionist tendencies, and they are used most constructively as a rule in your works. But you cannot apply them to people. Period.

Both of you at times do. In your particular personal relationship Ruburt began to feel that when you looked at him you were comparing him precisely with “that perfect physical self” that seemingly so eluded him, and in the face of that image, any improvement at all began to seem so insignificant as to be meaningless.

Your own reactions since our last session are excellent. Ruburt felt, finally, that you saw him at his worst in the morning, and did not turn away from his as some crooked, broken, grotesque physical person. That was what he was afraid of in the light of your perfectionist tendencies. In a strange way he was relieved; seeing what he has been trying to hide, he feels, will give the both of you a basis from which you can operate, in which any improvements are appreciated.

Now: This is not as rambling as it may seem. I take it for granted that you understand the jumps in time. This was merely to remind you of certain continuities without going over events already mentioned—so going back to the point in time mentioned earlier in tonight’s session: when Dialogues was finished Ruburt tried it out on Prentice, and felt briefly that Tam might take it. Even then there was talk from a time earlier about a paperback deal. This had excited Ruburt, as had the Dialogues possibility. Both fell through.