“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Both of you were sure of your love, but each of you at various times were quite willing to let its personal aspects take second place, and I am not speaking alone of physical love-making. When Ruburt took this place (Apartment 4) he was about ready to say, “All right, we will be work partners.” Then you responded with the display of love and devotion, plus a definite program, embarked upon together.

This immediately brought certain aspects to light that had been hidden to some extent while you were more physically separated. Some of this has to do, again, with the fact that you thought your concern automatically expressed your love. You were together more. When you saw him try to get up he knew you loved him, but the frown was what he saw. He was always trying to hide from you. Part of it was his projection because he felt you thought he was so stupid for having anything wrong at all, so the more he saw you frown the stupider he felt, and the more guilty. And the more he tried to hide his condition.

Later now, in the last period of time, when Eleanor heard that Ruburt had sent the outline of a new book, Aspects, to Tam, she astounded Ruburt by remarks of great regret, and implications that Ruburt had made an error. Ruburt was quite surprised, since Eleanor had not suggested before that a manuscript not be sent to Prentice.

Remembering your past ideas toward Prentice, he wondered, regardless of what you said, if you thought he should stay with them. He was very afraid of losing a contract with Prentice for Aspects, and a Bantam contract, while waiting around for another arrangement. At the same time he was afraid of making demands at Prentice for fear he would discover that they didn’t care if he stayed or not. Feeling that way he still went ahead on his own, and felt happily vindicated. The whole affair, with his reactions now, still had him at the point where he did not think he could physically recover, and he was caught in a panic that he tried to hide from you.