“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Immediately the plans for the last trip here were made. In the meantime Ruburt heard of the Bantam deal, and Eleanor was saying “Hold off,” without giving the reasons. Ruburt was frightened. Supposing he got Prentice to hold off and Eleanor’s deal fell through? Physically he had never really forced a body image through athletics, for example. Feelings of any powerlessness, then, found easiest expression physically. He had felt relatively in control, business-wise, used to dealing directly, and this is one of the reason why he and Tam work together intuitively and business-wise so well.

Remembering your past ideas toward Prentice, he wondered, regardless of what you said, if you thought he should stay with them. He was very afraid of losing a contract with Prentice for Aspects, and a Bantam contract, while waiting around for another arrangement. At the same time he was afraid of making demands at Prentice for fear he would discover that they didn’t care if he stayed or not. Feeling that way he still went ahead on his own, and felt happily vindicated. The whole affair, with his reactions now, still had him at the point where he did not think he could physically recover, and he was caught in a panic that he tried to hide from you.