“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

He was so direct emotionally that he idealized what he thought of as your relative detachment. This of course is old. At one time he felt his emotional spontaneity was indeed admired by you and encouraged, and he blossomed. Then he felt it threatened you—that it would form a barrier between you. He felt that you thought he wanted more than you could give—or wanted to give, practically speaking.

He felt it unfair to keep at you for emotional expression of love through verbalization and touch when it was not natural to you. In self-protection he tried to become the same way, to inhibit his sexuality because of what he thought of as your temperamental differences, and also because of the work schedule interruptions.

To him it was a direct action taken against something that annoyed him—the dust—an act of independence since he did it, and a symbolic clearing away of inner debris. To completely redecorate and rearrange your apartment would represent a symbolic and literal statement. At least you would be perfecting what you have, and taking steps within that framework, freely redecorating creatively, changing your environment instead of squawking while staying. Yet he is sure you would consider it a vast annoying distraction, even though not as annoying as moving. But he has not felt free to go ahead in either direction.

Strangely enough, in encouraging his spontaneity you are encouraging your own, because often he acts for both of you. It is futile to say that life should not involve challenges. You have accepted them. They are accepted to be solved. You are seeing what happens when spontaneity becomes hampered through beliefs, and in your early life you believed you must hamper it in yourself. You are seeing what happened to your brothers. You are seeing what happened to your father.

You are seeing what could have happened to yourself. I am not just speaking physically, but you are seeing with growing understanding, and what you see will help others.

Ruburt is learning to understand the nature of the mind in a way he could not understand it second-handed, playing games, and in condensed form you are learning about the human condition. What you said today is true: You must learn to understand the creativity and responsibility of consciousness. Yet you yourself often said in the past that suggestion could not be that important. Suggestion causes your reality. The suggestions you give are given as a result of your beliefs.

The reasons why Ruburt improved to a large degree the summer you took this place (Apartment 4) were important. You worked together. You utilized suggestion together. You began the morning together, using suggestions consciously decided upon. You had a plan and you followed it. Besides, you took what were at times timely measures in physical terms—direct terms—to better your environment. (Moving into Apartment 4.)

2. A definite approach that I will initiate, for you both to follow. You are in your own reality. You have chosen this one, even as Ruburt has. An ill wife in not inflicted upon you.