“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

We will begin with the material that is pertinent, and work through it to other data still more pertinent. A simple statement of fact, regardless of the reasons: Ruburt has a great but not neurotic need of expressions of love. A child does not always understand that concern for its welfare is the same thing as love. Sometimes it may be. Sometimes concern is a result of something else.

The parents who say “Brush your teeth because it is good for you, and I want you to be healthy,” may mean “I love you,” but the child would usually prefer a hug and a kiss. And if the hug and kiss is not given then the brush-your-teeth suggestion becomes an order to the child.

Ruburt is not a child, but you often do think that your concern automatically expresses your love, and take it for granted that to Ruburt that is clear. While he tells himself that your concern is based on love, and knows it, he felt that love for example last night through feel and touch.

He believed that emotional freedom would be construed as chaos, that while you said be spontaneous, you meant “Be spontaneous when it is convenient.” Beside the personality differences, however, work was also involved. Spontaneous love-making for example would cut into the work schedule that both of you had evolved.

All of this is old, yet the patterns began strongly then. He felt that his obvious femininity was almost a threat to both of your works, that he had no right to look sexy and tempt you both when spontaneous love play, for example, would not occur. He remembers you telling him not to kiss you or be sexually provocative unless he meant it.

He felt it unfair to keep at you for emotional expression of love through verbalization and touch when it was not natural to you. In self-protection he tried to become the same way, to inhibit his sexuality because of what he thought of as your temperamental differences, and also because of the work schedule interruptions.

(“No, it isn’t necessary.” Jane wrote upon reading this session: “How I often deal opaquely with Rob. Suppose now I wanted love in afternoon? Please let’s discuss this schedule.”

Now there are reasons—you have stated them well—for ambiguities of feeling on your part about Ruburt’s condition. They are understandable. You make an effort to tell him he looks well on occasion, but stroking his body tells him you love it—frowning at him does not.