“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

We will begin with the material that is pertinent, and work through it to other data still more pertinent. A simple statement of fact, regardless of the reasons: Ruburt has a great but not neurotic need of expressions of love. A child does not always understand that concern for its welfare is the same thing as love. Sometimes it may be. Sometimes concern is a result of something else.

The parents who say “Brush your teeth because it is good for you, and I want you to be healthy,” may mean “I love you,” but the child would usually prefer a hug and a kiss. And if the hug and kiss is not given then the brush-your-teeth suggestion becomes an order to the child.

Ruburt is not a child, but you often do think that your concern automatically expresses your love, and take it for granted that to Ruburt that is clear. While he tells himself that your concern is based on love, and knows it, he felt that love for example last night through feel and touch.

Now there are reasons—you have stated them well—for ambiguities of feeling on your part about Ruburt’s condition. They are understandable. You make an effort to tell him he looks well on occasion, but stroking his body tells him you love it—frowning at him does not.

If you both continue these sessions will continue. (?) If you let the personal sessions go then there are reasons why you each let them go. Again, it is because of the strength of your particular alliance, yours and Ruburt’s, that your reactions to each other are so charged and interbound. There is only so much I can give you in an evening, but I have much in mind.

To him it was a direct action taken against something that annoyed him—the dust—an act of independence since he did it, and a symbolic clearing away of inner debris. To completely redecorate and rearrange your apartment would represent a symbolic and literal statement. At least you would be perfecting what you have, and taking steps within that framework, freely redecorating creatively, changing your environment instead of squawking while staying. Yet he is sure you would consider it a vast annoying distraction, even though not as annoying as moving. But he has not felt free to go ahead in either direction.

Spontaneity, except in work, has been largely closed out of your lives, but it is to him unnatural. Spontaneous trips are in the same category, regardless now of the physical difficulty. Your way of life has been more natural to you than to Ruburt. The classes afford him some spontaneity.

I want to give you some immediate suggestions. There are other issues involved but they surround the points given.

The information is all available but you are physically hampered in time, so I will clear up any points later and amplify. Because you are not in his position you are presently able to help him when he falters, to help him help himself. And you help—consistently—in a consistent program itself assures him that you do want him to be himself.

You are “above” some of his hassles, but familiar with them, so you can help by offering encouragement precisely when he is down. If his “downness” depresses you, as is natural, imagine how much more it depresses him, and try then to find your own footing.

You are seeing what could have happened to yourself. I am not just speaking physically, but you are seeing with growing understanding, and what you see will help others.

Suggestions can change beliefs, for beliefs are only accepted habitual suggestions. When you use so-called positive suggestions you must implement them through action, but gently. You have each been structuring your experience largely through Ruburt’s symptoms—both of you, so that when Ruburt might momentarily feel free you would remind him of his limitations, and when you might forget them Ruburt would remind you.

3. Definite direct physical encounter with your environment. Presently, this will involve important but minute issues until the book is finished.

Now. I want Ruburt to keep a pendulum by the bed. In the morning suggestions given with the pendulum, and both of you participating. He is not to feel ashamed of his body in your eyes, regardless of its condition. Again, in one night I can only give you so much, but he grew afraid, and you helped him today to combat that fear: He was frightened that the body could not change, and your belief that it could was of great help.