“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(The pendulum told me that I was bothered by the idea of the possible lack of permanency of the panel I had chosen, and briefly that I was somewhat aware of the change in this picture, as far as handling of form would be concerned, from my usual style of working. I told none of this to Jane at the time. I thought I had resolved the problem, but when the symptoms continued during Jane’s ESP class Tuesday night, I realized I was wrong—the problem had not been cleared up.

(When I began to learn about my own symptoms, I started taking steps whereby I could present the same idea—of a man facing himself—in other ways, and shortly evolved several quite acceptable ways, that were in harmony with my ideas of pictorial form, permanence, etc. This experience was quite revealing. It taught me to consider all portions of the personality—its needs, desires, creative drives and expressions, etc., and I intuitively linked this up with Jane’s problems. It began to seem very clear to me that this was what she must do.

(“I thought this painting would allow me more of an expression of fantasy than I usually permit myself.”)

(“What part of me is raising hell, then?”)

(Excellent. Part of this was quite unknown to me consciously, but is the kind of data that once realized falls instantly into place.)

(Nevertheless, I have laid the projected painting aside, at least for the time being, although I did arrive at what seems to be an acceptable solution to all portions of my personality. At least the pendulum agrees to this. But it is Sunday, May 16, as I write this, and the symptoms are still with me—to a much lesser degree. They are gradually wearing away, in the same way, I suppose, that I will gradually come to reconcile the conflicts I became aware of through this whole episode.

(Is he still concerned about me, resulting in a slowdown of movement on his part?

(In earlier deleted material, Seth told us that Jane’s slower physical motions since the publication of The Seth Material was, in part, caused by her desire to slow down to give me a chance to catch up to her own success, etc., through my painting.)