“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(This material is deleted from the 585th session for May 12, 1971. Here are a few details of my own cold-like symptoms which began on Tuesday night, May 4, and which Seth discusses below. I had already received some insight on the problem by using the pendulum, but by tonight, Wednesday, felt exhausted by the symptoms.

(I felt much better while out working Wednesday morning, but the symptoms returned again Wednesday afternoon when I again tackled the project in the studio. I became angry and half disgusted, and began to realize that I would probably have to abandon the painting, since I wasn’t resolving the problems. I was afraid that once the symptoms persisted for another day or so, I would have a cold or some such thing to handle, and that days could be spent clearing it up. I didn’t ask Seth to clear anything. I was also struck by my reaction to the whole development, and couldn’t help comparing my reaction to Jane’s reaction to her own symptoms. I wanted out after a day of unease, but her symptoms had persisted now for several years. I felt intuitively that both sets of symptoms represented doing things that encountered resistance; my own symptoms seemed very instructive in this respect.

(I connected my symptoms also with the creed, mentioned in the notes proceeding the undeleted material for this session. As stated this creed grew out of the last, 584th session for May 3, 1971, Seth Speaks, pages 321 and 322, where Seth discussed the ego’s fear of being swamped by strong creative abilities, etc. I had felt for some time now that Jane entertained fears of this kind, and that they must be resolved.

There will be no problem however as you become aware of these connections. You looked for great order, to create in painting an ordered universe, to find perfection that ideally you felt should be in the exterior world, and yet was lacking. You discovered that order itself springs from spontaneity, and this is your first real attempt to bring the two together. Do you have any questions?

(This is an admirable acceptance on Seth’s part of whatever developments occur. He is probably more acutely aware of possibilities than I am, although I have been turning them over at a great rate lately. Some things are bound to be changed, I feel. It’s too early for decisions to be given here, and perhaps no hard and fast rules are needed... but some changes in attitudes are, certainly. I don’t mind stating that I felt sadness now as I contemplated some of the alternatives I’d been entertaining lately.)