“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(This material is deleted from the 585th session for May 12, 1971. Here are a few details of my own cold-like symptoms which began on Tuesday night, May 4, and which Seth discusses below. I had already received some insight on the problem by using the pendulum, but by tonight, Wednesday, felt exhausted by the symptoms.

(I felt much better while out working Wednesday morning, but the symptoms returned again Wednesday afternoon when I again tackled the project in the studio. I became angry and half disgusted, and began to realize that I would probably have to abandon the painting, since I wasn’t resolving the problems. I was afraid that once the symptoms persisted for another day or so, I would have a cold or some such thing to handle, and that days could be spent clearing it up. I didn’t ask Seth to clear anything. I was also struck by my reaction to the whole development, and couldn’t help comparing my reaction to Jane’s reaction to her own symptoms. I wanted out after a day of unease, but her symptoms had persisted now for several years. I felt intuitively that both sets of symptoms represented doing things that encountered resistance; my own symptoms seemed very instructive in this respect.

(I connected my symptoms also with the creed, mentioned in the notes proceeding the undeleted material for this session. As stated this creed grew out of the last, 584th session for May 3, 1971, Seth Speaks, pages 321 and 322, where Seth discussed the ego’s fear of being swamped by strong creative abilities, etc. I had felt for some time now that Jane entertained fears of this kind, and that they must be resolved.

(Elements of the creed would consider whether she should have these sessions, whether they should be public or merely private, whether they should be published now or later, or never, etc. I was, and am, anxious to do anything that will help, and will feel no regrets. Jane has already learned that she doesn’t want to do merely psychic, Seth books, like the Edgar Cayce series, for instance—from her own work on the creed. She wants to, and needs to, do work in which she is her own creator, and goes through the creative process from start to finish consciously, etc. It doesn’t really matter that the Seth material is excellent, etc. What counts is her reaction to it, and the symptoms, as far as I can tell at this time, are all too clear a sign of her reaction to it—at least an important part of her is reacting this way.

(That a part of her did and does welcome the sessions and is indeed responsible for them, is not as important as that all elements of her personality respond to whatever she does in a positive way. As long as the symptoms last, it is a sign that all is not well. Changes are coming; they must; I don’t believe they can be anything but for the better. There will probably be more to say on this later. I didn’t plan particularly to ask Seth about any of this tonight; I was angry at myself and not in the mood to delve into anything, actually.

(The session resumed then after break from 10:25—10:32. See Session 585 in Seth Speaks.)

(This is excellent information, and as has happened before where Seth discusses art, implies knowledge that I don’t believe Jane would express in such terms.

(Seth had paused, so I asked a question I hadn’t particularly planned on. The elements behind the question have been explained.

(This is an admirable acceptance on Seth’s part of whatever developments occur. He is probably more acutely aware of possibilities than I am, although I have been turning them over at a great rate lately. Some things are bound to be changed, I feel. It’s too early for decisions to be given here, and perhaps no hard and fast rules are needed... but some changes in attitudes are, certainly. I don’t mind stating that I felt sadness now as I contemplated some of the alternatives I’d been entertaining lately.)

(In earlier deleted material, Seth told us that Jane’s slower physical motions since the publication of The Seth Material was, in part, caused by her desire to slow down to give me a chance to catch up to her own success, etc., through my painting.)

(“Thank you, Seth. Your help is appreciated, it really is. Good night.”