“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

His attitude is changing, and has been, and with your help it can change for the better. Any fear is not of the session. While it is not now specifically related to particular past events, it is still related to past training where he was led to believe that he must keep a tight rein upon himself; not go ahead full blast, and restrain the spontaneous parts of the personality, unless they showed themselves in “acceptable” fashion.

Poetry was acceptable. In other areas he feared that the spontaneous self could lead to childbirth. In the psychic area he was afraid it could lead to falsehood, much more for example than he feared anything like schizophrenia. With you, for a while, he felt the spontaneous self brought you only trouble—as per the Florida trip and so forth, and that he had better learn to control it.

When you were ill and did not have sexual relations often, he feared that his desires then could even lead him to physical unfaithfulness, and so on all counts the habit of repression and of physical repression also built up. All areas of life were to some extent included then.

Spiritually he felt that he might be leading people astray.

The symptoms were the result of strain, then. While they still allowed him to pursue those activities in which he was interested, the conscientious nature, the questioning mind that led him to investigate psychic realities, and that led him to learn so much, did not change overnight. They were of much too long standing.

They continued to question this experience as they had every other, and to apply the same overconscientious tests toward truth. The sale of the book and his influence led him to question anew that if he had such influence, it had better be based upon legitimate truths.

(“Does he think it is?”)

He thinks basically that it is, and he accepts the basic principles of the work—that is, the Seth material. He still finds reincarnation difficult to accept, but this is not the only sore point. Give us time. He sometimes is confused about the God concept also. He accepts the source of the material as beyond his usual self. If he were not committed to the material he would have ceased the sessions long ago. Do you have other questions now along this line?

In the beginning, if you recall, he made little effort to have the material published, or even to deal with the material itself in those terms. His first book dealt with your experiments, done on your own in the main, and with their results. This happened, that happened: people could accept or reject.

The material represented a body of teaching, which was at variance not only with his own childhood religious background, but to some extent with the intellectual ideas of early adulthood. He made the jump to publish the teachings, to that extent, so far.

Then he realized that the coverage given on your tour, the people being reached, and so then again he wondered. He was also using his writing ability, or putting his writing ability at the hand of the material. Then again it had better be legitimate, since it was obvious he was being interviewed as a psychic who wrote, rather than as a writer with psychic abilities.

It made his position clear to him in the world’s eyes, he thought. He did enjoy the publicity and the experience however, and he did, as mentioned, feel let down by Prentice later.

He did not like the Washington show at all, or the circumstances, and was upset by that. (The second trip.

(“What do you think will happen with the next two books—the one he’s finishing now, the dream book, and your own book?”)

The initial response was the strongest one of course because it was his first experience along those lines. Also he has grown to know himself more since then.

Understanding this however will let Ruburt take some countering measures, as he did today by thinking of how cozy it was inside to work, and how comforting the rain sounded.