“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Ruburt feels disloyal himself to even question your own success, and this is an important point. His own paintings and work are of a highly emotional nature. Intuitively he understands much about your work that he does not realize he knows.

His fears prevent him from happily using the knowledge. If you are particularly proud of a given painting, and he does not emotionally relate to it, then he feels guilty, or afraid he will offend.

Since he does not use his unconscious knowledge of your work in daily life, and since you do not talk of it often, then he searches your face to see how you may have done. He feels guilty when you are working if he is not, for fear you will think his success is coming too easily. Assurances on your part will be exceedingly successful.

To the effect that you do want him to succeed, that his success will help you both. Now the age issue is connected to you and your work. In the beginning of your marriage you spoke often and vehemently of the limited nature of time and the importance of using it. If you were his age he would not be so frightened in this regard.

(Humorously:) He wants you to be a success while you are young enough to enjoy it. (I laughed.) Because he is younger he feels he should not be successful first. The freeing of feeling is indeed important on his part. To some extent he overexaggerated your response to emotionalism as he came to think of it, during your illness. This is also connected to your work in that he was afraid that his quite natural emotions would frighten you, and therefore impede your work.