“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Indeed then here a compensation. He slowed down further in anger at the compensation, or what he felt to be its necessity. It also represented a slowdown in the activity from Prentice, in that he feels that if Tam were really interested in his book he would keep better track of it.

This was tied in with the felt slowdown of winter. He was also ashamed of himself for the reactions, and hence did not want to go out to be seen. There has been a slowdown of subsidiary psychic activity—dream recall and out-of- bodies, which is partially cyclic. He does normally slow down in winter, which is perfectly all right, taken alone.

You cannot try to go and stop at the same time, to be driven to achieve and not achieve, without some consequences. Earlier he felt the stronger apathy that so frightened him, at the height, or depths, of the depression, that being partially probed at the time if you recall. The idea of napping evocatively brings it to mind in less severe form, so that a nap was not a creative refreshing time, but a cop-out. That is, to his way of thinking.

Now he felt that Rebellers, representing his first book success, helped bring about your illness, and this feeling alone is responsible for much of this.

It came out while you were becoming sick. Your mood was very poor, and he felt that you were angry and resentful at him because of its publication. You were not yet in the throes of your illness, and he felt that this represented the last straw to you—that it was not that good a book, not art as you thought your paintings to be, and yet it was published.

You were angry and resentful. Part of this was a projection of other problems however, rather than specifically your attitude toward the book. Your attitude however was very negative. It shocked, frightened him, and made him think that perhaps his success could separate you. He knew the book was not art also, and felt guilty.

He felt that you were his accuser, and punished him by becoming ill. Before that he felt that your negative feelings were largely directed against your parents. At this point he felt they were directed against him. He had put a great weight of trust and loyalty in you, and felt lost, insecure and frightened. At that point he felt completely alone. Those feelings have largely dissipated, so that the loyalty, never withdrawn, is still vital.