“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

In the past this was done completely at an unconscious level, with no conscious knowledge. He took no responsibility for his image. Since childhood, he expected later life to make up for any privations suffered earlier. Books were to bring instant success. The taste of limited success whetted his appetite during your tour. On the other hand he was afraid of it for the reasons given earlier, having to do with yourself.

Indeed then here a compensation. He slowed down further in anger at the compensation, or what he felt to be its necessity. It also represented a slowdown in the activity from Prentice, in that he feels that if Tam were really interested in his book he would keep better track of it.

Now he felt that Rebellers, representing his first book success, helped bring about your illness, and this feeling alone is responsible for much of this.

(“Did that book come out before I got sick?”

It came out while you were becoming sick. Your mood was very poor, and he felt that you were angry and resentful at him because of its publication. You were not yet in the throes of your illness, and he felt that this represented the last straw to you—that it was not that good a book, not art as you thought your paintings to be, and yet it was published.

You were angry and resentful. Part of this was a projection of other problems however, rather than specifically your attitude toward the book. Your attitude however was very negative. It shocked, frightened him, and made him think that perhaps his success could separate you. He knew the book was not art also, and felt guilty.

This is all in the background of the difficulties. You stopped reading his dream book. He is again frightened as to whether or not it will meet with your approval.

(“I’ve wondered about this before: whether we should look for another publisher for your book.”)