“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

You both felt that the most innocent of caresses could destroy the foundation of your lives. This was certainly overcompensation. It tended for a while to erode your relationship, and to some extent to set portions of yourselves against other portions. It drove Ruburt at times to try to deny womanhood, to assure you and herself that her body would not betray you both. He would not have his periods—thus he would show both of you, symbolically, that you need not fear his body, since it obviously was not functioning as a woman’s should.

A point I want to make: these are small but significant attitudes of his. I suggested frequently the up and down movements and the running, because he must set those legs into activity. I stressed however that he should make a game of it. As you know we have met severe blockage here, and I can now tell you the reasons.

The class sessions incidentally, served to keep the spontaneity available, for the spontaneity of our own sessions suffers when your own relationship is less than the both of you accept. Then it becomes something you want to do and feel you should do, and a strong part of your work, but the spontaneous fountainheads beneath do not have that easy flow. So that that flow does not dry up when it does not operate as fully as it ordinarily can in our own sessions, then it shoots up and appears in class sessions, as a precaution and simply because the fountainhead as such will not dry up, but seeks its natural release. For this reason to some extent you have distrusted the class sessions, feeling that the strong personal basis of the sessions with you and Ruburt was escaping you.

So when you said “You do not try to help yourself,” he was so angry he was nearly speechless. He felt you a stern taskmaster, and the logic as being: the worse you feel the more you should drive yourself. But he felt this also, you see. It was much more important to take a walk when he did not feel good than when he did.

Now this is true. However, he interpreted this to mean “Because I do not want to go, I should,” which is not the same thing. I am not explaining this particular paragraph of material as clearly as I would like. There are some fine distinctions verbally that are difficult to make clear.

Ruburt would be, and is, susceptible to advances made on your part in the kitchen—the woman’s area; also in the living room, which is fairly neutral to both of you; or in his working place, for he has always been aware of the connection there. The bedroom has been an alarm area for both of you sexually, for the reasons made obvious, I should hope, and your studio has definitely been an alarm area on your part.