“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

SESSION 562 (DELETED)

(This session, ordinarily the 562nd for November 30, 1970, is deleted from the record. Excerpts from it, or references to it, may eventually be found in our Reincarnation notebook however.

(This is the first session held in the back-room studio, where we were free from a lot of regular and potential distractions. Both of us liked the new arrangement very much, and plan to continue it.)

(9:40—9:45. Jane’s trance had been deep, her pace fast, as it was throughout the session. The break was short because we had barely begun to go over the material when Jane said “Wow, I can feel him coming back with some good stuff, so we’d better get ready.”)

Now I suggested that we move our sessions back here for the reasons given, but also because I knew that to Ruburt this meant an implied greater sense of togetherness on your parts, and of secrecy. Secrecy is a strong element in Ruburt’s personality, and while you recognize this in yourself, you have been very opaque in that you have not earlier seen it in Ruburt.

Now when he felt that physical divorce you made various attempts to come closer, and you have made strides since obviously the symptoms have lessened. But one or the other of you would become frightened for the reasons given, and lately Ruburt felt an emotional separation might occur, and was occurring. Here again the threat to the prime directives, for he feels, and so do you, your work and the sessions quake when your relationship goes toward either extreme.

The class sessions incidentally, served to keep the spontaneity available, for the spontaneity of our own sessions suffers when your own relationship is less than the both of you accept. Then it becomes something you want to do and feel you should do, and a strong part of your work, but the spontaneous fountainheads beneath do not have that easy flow. So that that flow does not dry up when it does not operate as fully as it ordinarily can in our own sessions, then it shoots up and appears in class sessions, as a precaution and simply because the fountainhead as such will not dry up, but seeks its natural release. For this reason to some extent you have distrusted the class sessions, feeling that the strong personal basis of the sessions with you and Ruburt was escaping you.

Symbolically you also compared that spontaneous flow with semen, creative abilities, and were jealous of it getting away from you. Ruburt was aware of this on one level. He also felt that this was the main reason why you had nothing to do with class, refused even once to attend it. You felt it was depriving you, not only of, say, a private session if Ruburt did not hold the following regular one; you also felt that the sexual activity you were not getting from Ruburt was being channeled instead psychically where you were getting no benefit. To use this energy in private sessions was all right because it was a joint performance, a private one, and you both directly benefited.

For Ruburt to have a session without you, and for strangers, was something else. Particularly when you felt you were also being denied in your bed. Do you see the connections?

Ruburt sensed this feeling, and it was often in reaction against it that we did not have our next private session, and hence the buried connection: “If you do not love me I will not have a session for you.” He mentioned the Saturday morning occasions himself lately. He gets better as the day goes on, physically.

(11:25. Jane’s trance had been deep throughout the session, her pace for the most part quite fast. I thought it one of the best sessions she has given. It’s certain to prove invaluable to us in daily living. Jane hasn’t seen it yet as I write these notes. I want to go over it with her, then keep it available for frequent reference.)