“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

In your mind making money is a male characteristic, and subconsciously a male prerogative. The fact that you painted and it did not seem to bring you money served further to make you distrust these creative abilities. You identified them to some extent with your mother, the first female of course in your background. She was unpredictable, and so you felt you could not depend upon your art, nor count upon it as a man. (Much louder.)

In your relationship as a couple then you set up a framework in which freedoms allowed to one were compensated until certain adjustments were made. The creative aspects were given so much leeway, until out of fear one of you applied restraints of a restrictive nature. The painting to you had such strongly feminine connotations that subconsciously you felt your studio was like a womb, out of which the paintings were produced. You felt that this had some (underlined) terrifying implications, many of them threatening your sense of masculinity since, because of your misconceptions you were convinced ahead of time that they would never be used as a means of livelihood.